I'm sorry you had to make it. It can't have been even half as bad for us as it was for you.

[ But saying it like that... something does click. It's easier to feel bad sometimes. To wallow in things that make you miserable and the idea that nothing can or ever will get better because if you don't hope for anything then you can't be disappointed. If you never open any of your fan letters, you can never be disappointed when none of them are from the person you wish would write to you more than anything.

Being miserable is familiar. Sometimes it's even safe. She'd never forgotten how that felt, but... ]

I know it's not my place to say it, but... I don't want you to end up going back there. Ever. If I find out you did, I'll go and bring you back myself.