liedol: ♫ idol, yoasobi (Default)
星野アイ | Hoshino「AI」 ([personal profile] liedol) wrote in [community profile] yumemigaoka2023-12-03 07:58 pm
Entry tags:

★ my genius, flawless idol for life

Who: Ai and you!
When: its fucking dember
Where: Mostly in Yumemigaoka, with some planned Hunts and stuff in the Dream Sphere
What: Wow, that was pretty decidedly awful!!! Unfortunately, there's no rest for the wicked OR the DU's idol so even though she's a little running on fumes, Ai's still got a busy December ahead of her...! With DU work and idol work and holiday obligations all on her plate, the real question is: how does she ever find time to sleep???
darknesshotpot: (satisfied)

[personal profile] darknesshotpot 2023-12-05 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
[Ango only catches the tail end of Ai's conversation, but it sounds like she's letting someone know that she'll be home late... and from her lovey-dovey tone, it's gotta be a guy, right? Well, damn, good for her! She deserves somebody worth going home to, even if an idol has to keep her personal life under wraps.

Ango has nobody to go home to, or even a home to go home to for that matter. He's been camped out in the basement of DU HQ since returning from the Dream Sphere (it turns out that the online rumors are true and the DU does have a secret basement level, but it's mostly filled with old fax machines and janitorial supplies). There's a sento and a laundromat not far from headquarters, so the arrangement is surprisingly cozy. It's not in Ango's nature to spend too much time at home, though... so after work, he wanders.]


Oh, yeah, I heard that the snow knocked a power substation offline.. it's probably gonna be a while. Half the system is gridlocked right now, so I figured I'd get on the first train and see where it takes me.

[Has he been avoiding her ever since the Disturbance? Uh... maybe a little. Most of his coworkers seem content to let him laugh off the whole thing, but Ango knows he won't get away that easy with Ai.

Belatedly, he notices that Ai's not wearing a coat - with the station being so close to the office, she probably didn't think she'd need more than a jacket. Ango hurries to shrug off his own heavy coat. Well, it's not actually his coat, but anything that spends longer than 2 weeks in the lost-and-found box in the DU's coat room is fair game as far as he's concerned.]


Here, take this!

[The coat is ridiculously oversized for someone of Ai's stature, but he can't just let her freeze. As for himself... he's had colder nights, he'll be fine.]
Edited 2023-12-05 00:25 (UTC)
darknesshotpot: (overwhelmed)

[personal profile] darknesshotpot 2023-12-05 07:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Haha, it's more like I'm hardly working... I've had so many meetings and debriefings that I can't get anything else done!

[He waves his hand vaguely, as if that explains why he's been avoiding her.

Out of concern for his mental health (lol) Ango has been on light duty ever since returning from the Dream Sphere, so he hasn't gone on his usual survey patrols... but that's only given the Research Department more time to question him about what they're now calling "Night Terrors." Apparently the order to not subject him to any disciplinary action came from the Boss Lady at the top of the DU, but even Ango realizes that's wholly contingent on his ability to provide useful information. Especially since unlike Mio Kasuga, he was fully conscious for most of his Disturbance. Hopefully, the DU's current focus on him will give that poor kid a break.]


Did you know that the DU has actual lawyers and accountants? I ran off into the Dream Sphere to escape some bad debts to some even worse people, but it turns out that I actually paid those loan sharks off ages ago... they were just exploiting the fact that I'm really, really bad at math. After a few strongly worded letters from the DU's legal department, it seems like I'm in the clear. So I guess the Disturbance was all over nothing... haha...

[He attempts to laugh away his problems, but even Ai has probably realized by now that while his financial difficulties may have been the inciting incident that drove him to escape into the Dream Sphere, they were only the tip of the iceberg.]
darknesshotpot: (existential crisis)

[personal profile] darknesshotpot 2023-12-08 04:20 pm (UTC)(link)
That's not... I was always planning on coming back...

[That had been Ango's plan - disappear into the Dream Sphere for a couple of months and let the yakuza think he'd skipped town, then sneak back. He could camp out on the beach at Facet Lagoon and drink piña coladas all winter instead of having to trudge through Yumemigaoka's snow. He could even keep working as a Dreamer! But then Ango ran into that mystery woman... and instead of the lagoon, he'd ended up in a whole city built out of his own neuroses, which was surprisingly comfortable to wallow in.

He wasn't trapped like Mio Kasuga had been. He could have gone back at any time, if he'd wanted to. He just... didn't want to.

Ango's shoulders slump, and his protest ends in a mumble.]


But that Night Terror, or whatever the DU is calling her... I created her. If she was fucked up, then it's only beause I made her that way.

[He knew that other Dreamers would eventually come looking for him, and he knew that Sakuya would attempt to trap them in the madness of an endless spring, that place where nothing could die because it was already dead. Because on some level... that's what he wanted, too.]

...I couldn't just leave her.
darknesshotpot: (facepalm)

[personal profile] darknesshotpot 2023-12-09 02:35 pm (UTC)(link)
[...She's angry, and he can't blame her. Ango is still angry at Dazai for doing what he did, not that it makes much of a difference now. Anger is comforting in a way - it lets him indulge in the fantasy that there's something he could have done.]

I didn't know what to say. I mean, "hi, I'm Ango, I'm depressed and directionless and all of my friends are dead, by the way I owe a lot of money to the yakuza" is one hell of an icebreaker to use at a new job.

[It's not that Ango hasn't grown close to anyone since coming to Yumemigaoka. Ai, Misfire and Maki are people he trusts enough to let his defenses start to slip... but they're also coworkers that he's known for barely half a year. He's got baggage, and it's more than he can expect them to carry.]

Earlier last year, before I came to Yumemigaoka, I was in a rough place... coming here and meeting people like you really did help, so don't feel like you didn't do enough. That Night Terror was inside me for a long time.
darknesshotpot: (sad murder face)

[personal profile] darknesshotpot 2023-12-11 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
Hahaaa, I guess that dreamscape was pretty rough... I'm sorry you had to see it.

[The hollow makeshift buildings, the neglected and trash-filled streets, the wild tangle of tree roots consuming the city's vitality like a parasite... it was a place Ango had never seen before, and a place that felt immediately familiar. An empty pastiche of the setting of his first successful novel, haunted by the heroine he's never been able to escape.]

I didn't want anybody to see that side of me, but... I guess by now everybody already knows that I'm not as cool as I look.

[He laughs at his own joke, but he sounds tired.]

...But you know, sometimes, here - the real world - feels the same as that place. Cold, lonely, chaotic. It's beautiful sometimes, but there's always something missing... At least I felt like I belonged there.
darknesshotpot: (excited)

[personal profile] darknesshotpot 2023-12-14 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ango blinks for a moment, taken aback.]

...You would?

I mean, not that I've got any plans to do that again! If I become The Midlife Crisis Guy, I'll never hear the end of it from those bratty kids... but still, thanks. Hearing that means a lot.

[He smiles crookedly. Maybe somehow Ai missed the part of the Disturbance report where his Night Terror looked uncannily like her. Not that Sakuya had been anything like Ai in terms of personality... her personality had been based on someone else. But not wanting Ai to see the woman who haunts his dreams is more than enough motivation to keep him from causing another Disturbance.]

I guess if there's a difference between this world and that dream, it's that things can change here.
darknesshotpot: (cute)

[personal profile] darknesshotpot 2023-12-17 03:03 pm (UTC)(link)
[The fact that no one, not even Frieren, seems to have mentioned the most embarrassing detail of Ango's Disturbance does make him wonder if there was interference from someone on the rescue team, but there's no way Ango would thank the brat for something like that. But if the brat ever ends up in in a Disturbance of his own, Ango will glady gut punch him back to reality. Gratitude? More like payback.

He has some idea of what other Dreamers saw while they were trapped in his dream, though, which is embarrassing enough... but unlike his best friend, who was consumed by his shame, Ango feels that shame is an essential part of being human. You haven't really lived until you've been beaten up by a high schooler in front of your imaginary girlfriend. Now that's decadence.]


Th-there's a coffee shop near the gate, right?

[If there's a slight crack to his voice, he'll blame it on the cold air. Coffee date with Ai? Okay, not quite, but it's at least "coffee with Ai," and 75% is a pretty good score for a chronic underachiever like Ango.]
darknesshotpot: (wink)

[personal profile] darknesshotpot 2023-12-20 06:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Haha, lucky for me at least - if it's your treat, then I want one of those floofy coffee things with whipped cream and chocolate sauce.

[A plain black coffee would be more manly, but Ango is convinced that people only pretend to like that crap. Coffee is merely a vehicle for caffeine and sugar, the most important food groups after nicotine and alcohol. And he doesn't have anything to prove to Ai, who has already seen him at his lowest and inexplicably still talks to him. Besides...]

...Hopefully the trains will get moving soon. I figure you want to get home to your... uh, you-know-who.

[He can't just say "secret boyfriend," can he? There could be obsessive fans lurking among the other stranded commuters on the train platform, and with Mio on hiatus, the wotaku weirdos are probably thirsting for gossip... but Ango is on Ai's side, so he gives her an a wink.]
darknesshotpot: (uwaa)

[personal profile] darknesshotpot 2023-12-21 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[Wait, is that fear in Ai's wide-eyed look? Even if she has to keep her personal affairs a secret from her fans, surely she can let her guard down around friends, right? Or... does she still see him as a potential threat - one of those jealous fans who would destroy her career, or worse? If I can't have her, no one will. Ango has heard the horror stories, both the ones that get media attention and the ones that are only whispered about off set. Celebrities have been harassed, stalked and physically attacked by fans... even Ango has received his share of harassment, but it's gotta be worse for Ai. She's so tiny...

Damn it, Ai has already given half of her life to the entertainment industry, to her fans. When is it going to be enough? Will it ever be enough?]


It's not like that! I mean, I overheard you talking on the phone and you sounded all lovey-dovey...

[He fiddles with his glasses, embarrassed. It's not like he intended to eavesdrop... but like any other fan, he craves those tidbits of information that put him just a little bit closer to his untouchable idol. Some fans are predators, but he's just a parasocial scavenger who greedily devours the leftover scraps of other people's fantasies. No wonder she still looks at him like that.

He makes sure there's no one else within earshot, then continues in a whisper.]


Haha, I don't think I've been that happy to go home in my entire life, and for you it's just a normal Friday afternoon... he's a damned lucky guy. Don't worry, I won't say a word about him! You deserve to love somebody.
darknesshotpot: (wistful)

[personal profile] darknesshotpot 2023-12-24 06:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ango lets out a sigh of relief as Ai's look of terror abruptly shifts to laughter. Even if she's laughing at him... it's worth it to see her smile. He'd do a lot of dumb things for a smile like that.

It hurts to know that he's not the guy who makes Ai happy, but knowing that Ai is happy makes it hurt a whole lot less.

Ango understands why Ai won't quit being an idol, even though the demands of the industry force her to hide so much of herself. She needs to perform in the same way he needs to write... because entertaining others is the only way they know how to connect with anyone. Her boyfriend must be one hell of a guy if he managed to bridge that gap.]


Haha... so you don't need to keep everything a secret. You've got people who will support you no matter what.