[...the tight hug helps, and the shaking lessens, her throat loosening a little. Junna's... not angry on principle. Or, well, maybe she is, but she's not blaming Lisa for that, and that's... enough for now?
But.]
He- he said I was better than what I was showing him. Which. I-it isn't wrong, but I don't- I don't know how to fight people, Junna, I don't want to fight people! But I-I snapped, and I exploded on him. I was- I was so frustrated and so angry and so lonely and so tired and I couldn't- I couldn't hold it back anymore!
[Too much of the emotion from the moment is still caught up in her memories of it from two short weeks ago - it feels like months, how was it only two weeks - and she can feel her pulse quickening, her eyes tearing up. Her arms are still at her sides; she doesn't feel like she can hug Junna back, too many of the things she said are haunting her all over again. But she said she'd do it, and she's too far gone now. She has to tell her, has to make sure she understands, has to has to hasto-]
"Nobody believes I'm any better than this. Nobody ever has," I screamed at him, while I shot at him like it was the only thing I knew how to do, putting holes in the walls, like I really wanted to hurt him! "That's why I'm here in the first place!" [Her hands ball into fists and the tears flow freely.] "Silly Lisa, never smart enough, n-never kind enough, never pr-pretty enough," I told him! "N-n-not obedient enough! Not strong enough-!!" [Her voice cracks on the last condemnation and she sobs; she wobbles for a second, knees almost giving out, but Junna's already holding her and she manages to get her feet back under her before she pulls the both of them down.] I went way past m-my breaking point, Junna, and it sucked! It's w-why I was such a godsdamned mess when you c-came over last week!
no subject
But.]
He- he said I was better than what I was showing him. Which. I-it isn't wrong, but I don't- I don't know how to fight people, Junna, I don't want to fight people! But I-I snapped, and I exploded on him. I was- I was so frustrated and so angry and so lonely and so tired and I couldn't- I couldn't hold it back anymore!
[Too much of the emotion from the moment is still caught up in her memories of it from two short weeks ago - it feels like months, how was it only two weeks - and she can feel her pulse quickening, her eyes tearing up. Her arms are still at her sides; she doesn't feel like she can hug Junna back, too many of the things she said are haunting her all over again. But she said she'd do it, and she's too far gone now. She has to tell her, has to make sure she understands, has to has to hasto-]
"Nobody believes I'm any better than this. Nobody ever has," I screamed at him, while I shot at him like it was the only thing I knew how to do, putting holes in the walls, like I really wanted to hurt him! "That's why I'm here in the first place!" [Her hands ball into fists and the tears flow freely.] "Silly Lisa, never smart enough, n-never kind enough, never pr-pretty enough," I told him! "N-n-not obedient enough! Not strong enough-!!" [Her voice cracks on the last condemnation and she sobs; she wobbles for a second, knees almost giving out, but Junna's already holding her and she manages to get her feet back under her before she pulls the both of them down.] I went way past m-my breaking point, Junna, and it sucked! It's w-why I was such a godsdamned mess when you c-came over last week!