[It's amazing, really, how Lisa can find new ways to screw up even at this late stage, after everything's already over. She managed to scream that nobody believes in her in her girlfriend's mind palace. She didn't mean to include Junna in that, of course, but... depression does some nasty things to your ability for rational thought, huh? The hurt look in Junna's eyes feels terrible when she knows she put it there, and she's sure she's going to hear about it. She's going to get yelled at, going to be semi-softly chastised for not knowing when to quit or how to censor herself - or for leveling that accusation at all.
Until Junna gently brushes away her tears, after Lisa's finally spit out everything she's been holding back for two weeks. Confusion is written on her face for a moment; why is she not being yelled at? Why is Junna... defending her, once she starts talking, finally? Holding her upright and kindly looking into her eyes? It. It doesn't make any sense.
Except, as she keeps her mouth shut and forces herself to listen instead of denying, she realizes that maybe she was wrong. Sure, she screwed up. She screwed up a lot in the Disturbance, and she doesn't have a perfect track record after it, either. But... maybe that's okay. Junna sees her strengths, and accepts her faults. One by one, the weaknesses she'd lived with and accepted for six years are lifted from her shoulders. Not removed - that's not reasonable after such a short conversation, and far more than Lisa could ask for. More than she deserves, maybe, even after that grand declaration. But she feels lighter. Less... chained down. There's someone to share the weight of her past. And even both their burdens together are lighter than hers were alone, when someone's helping her carry that weight.
So her head feels a little clearer as Junna starts in on the things she did. Which... yeah. A Disturbance was always going to end that way. But at the same time, it's a real concern. Junna did lash out at their friends with malice and intent. She wasn't entirely home in her body when she did it, but she did it, and that's something they'll both have to accept and live with. Most of their friends and colleagues understand the distinction, but... it's still something you can't just write off. Lisa was sure as hell scared of Hibiki two weeks ago, despite knowing Hibiki wouldn't hurt her on purpose, a distinction Lisa can't make about herself anymore. A distinction she hopes doesn't scare people away from her, but she can't really blame them if it does.
But... it all comes back to Junna. Lisa's voice is a quiet croak as she speaks for the first time in a few minutes, halting and tentative but not without hope.] I still want to feel that way. You'll... you'll show me, though. So I- I don't know if I agree... with all of that. But what I think maybe- isn't as important. If nobody else believes it, then maybe I shouldn't either, yeah? [The tiniest ghost of a smile appears on Lisa's face. Slowly, delicately, her arms finally rise from her sides to wrap around her most precious person, eyes closing as she leans just a little into Junna where their foreheads meet. She feels exhausted, suddenly.] Of course I let you stay. Of course you're wonderful. I love you too, Junna. So much. I... I'm so lucky to have you. And I hope I can make you feel that, too.
[She takes a long, shuddering breath, tears slowed but not stopped. Still... she'll be okay, somehow.]
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Until Junna gently brushes away her tears, after Lisa's finally spit out everything she's been holding back for two weeks. Confusion is written on her face for a moment; why is she not being yelled at? Why is Junna... defending her, once she starts talking, finally? Holding her upright and kindly looking into her eyes? It. It doesn't make any sense.
Except, as she keeps her mouth shut and forces herself to listen instead of denying, she realizes that maybe she was wrong. Sure, she screwed up. She screwed up a lot in the Disturbance, and she doesn't have a perfect track record after it, either. But... maybe that's okay. Junna sees her strengths, and accepts her faults. One by one, the weaknesses she'd lived with and accepted for six years are lifted from her shoulders. Not removed - that's not reasonable after such a short conversation, and far more than Lisa could ask for. More than she deserves, maybe, even after that grand declaration. But she feels lighter. Less... chained down. There's someone to share the weight of her past. And even both their burdens together are lighter than hers were alone, when someone's helping her carry that weight.
So her head feels a little clearer as Junna starts in on the things she did. Which... yeah. A Disturbance was always going to end that way. But at the same time, it's a real concern. Junna did lash out at their friends with malice and intent. She wasn't entirely home in her body when she did it, but she did it, and that's something they'll both have to accept and live with. Most of their friends and colleagues understand the distinction, but... it's still something you can't just write off. Lisa was sure as hell scared of Hibiki two weeks ago, despite knowing Hibiki wouldn't hurt her on purpose, a distinction Lisa can't make about herself anymore. A distinction she hopes doesn't scare people away from her, but she can't really blame them if it does.
But... it all comes back to Junna. Lisa's voice is a quiet croak as she speaks for the first time in a few minutes, halting and tentative but not without hope.] I still want to feel that way. You'll... you'll show me, though. So I- I don't know if I agree... with all of that. But what I think maybe- isn't as important. If nobody else believes it, then maybe I shouldn't either, yeah? [The tiniest ghost of a smile appears on Lisa's face. Slowly, delicately, her arms finally rise from her sides to wrap around her most precious person, eyes closing as she leans just a little into Junna where their foreheads meet. She feels exhausted, suddenly.] Of course I let you stay. Of course you're wonderful. I love you too, Junna. So much. I... I'm so lucky to have you. And I hope I can make you feel that, too.
[She takes a long, shuddering breath, tears slowed but not stopped. Still... she'll be okay, somehow.]
Together, you and I. No matter what.