[He thought he had gotten all of his tears out of the way the first night he had been kicked out of the Dream Sphere-- the nasty cough had made crying a more frustrating experience than a cathartic one-- but there was something about Ai's words coupled with that headpat that made the floodgates open right back up again. Was it the lack of judgement in her voice? The understanding? The slight relief of getting it off of his chest, even in this minor capacity? Or was he just upset that she wasn't mad enough at him for screwing something like this up?
Regardless of the reason, he was going to keep his head buried in his arms still, the only tells of his tears being the slight sniffle behind his mask and the dampness on his shirtsleeves. It was silly to feel self-conscious about crying in front of Ai-- after all, how many times had she seen him wailing as a child when Tsukasa had broken one of his toys, or when he wasn't feeling well?-- but he was getting to that age where being vulnerable was a less than ideal thing, something he didn't even want to show around his own parents. He had thought he was getting stronger, more sure of himself, both here and in the Dream Sphere... but all it took was one bad misstep to shatter that veil of invincibility.
His voice is thick with emotion when he tries to answer her question, and he attempts to swallow it down, even it out so she doesn't have more to worry over. Because... he wanted to believe he did his best. He wanted to so badly. But--]
I--I thought I did. But-- I could have done more. I could have protected them better, but instead...
[Instead, Cinnabar got ambushed and Mantle succumbed to the poison in the air-- kinder fates than what Amane himself wound up enduring (spiders no doubt were going to leave him jumpy for a while), but perhaps preventable if he had been paying better attention. Maybe he should have taken pride in the fact he was the last to fall, but all he could feel was the resounding guilt of not being able to save them sooner.]
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Regardless of the reason, he was going to keep his head buried in his arms still, the only tells of his tears being the slight sniffle behind his mask and the dampness on his shirtsleeves. It was silly to feel self-conscious about crying in front of Ai-- after all, how many times had she seen him wailing as a child when Tsukasa had broken one of his toys, or when he wasn't feeling well?-- but he was getting to that age where being vulnerable was a less than ideal thing, something he didn't even want to show around his own parents. He had thought he was getting stronger, more sure of himself, both here and in the Dream Sphere... but all it took was one bad misstep to shatter that veil of invincibility.
His voice is thick with emotion when he tries to answer her question, and he attempts to swallow it down, even it out so she doesn't have more to worry over. Because... he wanted to believe he did his best. He wanted to so badly. But--]
I--I thought I did. But-- I could have done more. I could have protected them better, but instead...
[Instead, Cinnabar got ambushed and Mantle succumbed to the poison in the air-- kinder fates than what Amane himself wound up enduring (spiders no doubt were going to leave him jumpy for a while), but perhaps preventable if he had been paying better attention. Maybe he should have taken pride in the fact he was the last to fall, but all he could feel was the resounding guilt of not being able to save them sooner.]