yumemigaoka | there's a fork in the road (open)

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illyasviel von einzbern

there's a fork in the road (open)

⭐ Who: Illya and you!
⭐ When: July 1st, before the thunderstorm kicks in!
⭐ Where: Out around Yumemigaoka
⭐ What: Illya's waffling about being an active Dreamer. Maybe help give her advice?

(1. tanabata - in the store)

[ Though the stores may only have started stocking the supplies for Tanabata today, apparently someone already noticed them being there pretty early on. Illya is pretty into the idea of Tanabata, after all, and she does want to make a wish..

.. which is why you may find the girl in the store, staring at the coloured paper and the bamboo. Something seems a little off about her though, like Illya is deep in thought, despite.. just staring at what are basically just crafting supplies.

Whatever she's thinking about, she doesn't seem to be paying too much attention to her surroundings. She turns without looking, bumping right into you when you're either standing next to her or trying to pass her - though she does have the decency to immediately look embarrassed after briefly startling. ]

Oh, sorry..! Um, you-- did you also want to get some stuff for Tanabata..?

[ Is she trying to make some awkward small talk to make up for the bumping-into-you thing? Absolutely. Or maybe she's trying to distract from how out of it she seemed a moment ago. ]

(2. hesitation - near the dreamer union headquarters)

[ Later that day Illya can be seen somewhere else entirely. In fact, maybe you have actually seen her there before, if you go near or into the Dreamer Union headquarters often enough. It hasn't been for too long yet, but for the past few days this girl definitely has been hanging out near the building - seeming to walk closer to it, only to shake her head and walk back.. after which the pattern repeats all over again.

The same thing is happening today. Seems a little weird, huh? Maybe you'd like to go ask her what's up, regardless of whether you know or don't know the girl acting so oddly. ]

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[ Illya sits down with all the grace of a duck trying to flee a rapidly approaching human - probably even nervously wiggling back and forth while sitting on the chair, like there's a whole lot of nervous energy within her that she doesn't really have any other outlet for. ]

Um..

[ Her gaze flutters over at Ai, hesitant. Is it really okay to ask, even if Ai is being so nice.. and so radiant.. ]

Hot chocolate, maybe..? I-If it's not too much to ask for! [ Especially while she doesn't even know yet whether or not she'll actually join in the end.

Though - at the very least - she's determined to keep sitting on this chair, rather than rushing out while Ai is busy grabbing everything for them. S-She should at least hear Ai out! ]

Hot chocolate coming right up!

[ There's a fancy little hot drinks maker she'd gotten from some sponsorship or other and donated to the office, so she taps away at a few buttons on that and gets it whirring away with a cup of hot chocolate. While that's in progress, she digs around in the cupboards and fishes out the remains of her Golden Week snack restock – a box of milk cookies – and makes her way back over to Illya, setting the cookies and her drink down before taking a seat herself. ]

Here you go...! It's a little hot right out of the machine so give it a minute, but go ahead and help yourself to cookies while you're waiting. This is your first time at the DU, right?

[ The girl does pull the drink closer, though it seems that she's obedient enough when it comes to instructions that she doesn't drink from it right away. Instead she just blows on it a little, like she's trying to help it cool down.

But even as she's in the middle of doing so, she already nods at Ai - and then pauses her blowing so she can actually answer the other. ]

Yes. I've seen the building before, but this is my first time inside..

[ It's more just that it's hard to ever fully miss the building if you happen to pass by on the street, honestly. ]

I, um.. [ .. she figures she should offer up at least a little bit more information with how kind and welcoming Ai has been so far, so even though she shyly bites her lip for a moment, Illya pushes herself into speaking on. ] I never thought I'd ever be inside.. since I never thought I'd ever be a Dreamer.

I guess it is a little hard to imagine until it happens to you. Kind of like winning the lottery, right? You can daydream about it all you want but having it really happen to you is totally different.

[ Not that Ai would know. The thought had never even entered her mind before she'd Awakened herself and now, so far out from from it and so long into her life as a Dreamer, it's a little hard to remember what that initial apprehension had felt like. But she can guess that it might have been something like this. ]

Are you feeling a little nervous about it? Maybe scared?

.. scared, yes.

[ At least she's admitting to it, even though it sounds like she's doing so reluctantly, something shy about her. It doesn't exactly feel like the greatest thing to admit to, after all. Illya may not have much of a sense of personal pride, being a young and insecure girl and all, but it's not like she wants to look like a total loser in front of a confident Dreamer either.

Still, she knows saying anything but this would be lying, so she tries to gently admit it to Ai.

Ai has been so nice so far - surely this isn't where she would draw the line into judging her, right? ]

Fighting.. seems really scary. I'm not sure if I could face that sort of thing.. I-- I don't feel like I'm as brave as all the other Dreamers must be.

[ They're constantly fighting, after all. Like it's nothing - if not just from Illya's rose-coloured perception of these people. ]

[ Ai's only response is a soft hum and a nod of the head. Her warm smile doesn't budge – if anything, it just gets more gentle. ]

That's totally normal. It's not like living here in the real world prepares you to fight big monsters like that, right? Everybody's scared when they first get started.

[ There's a few outliers of course – a lot of younger kids who've daydreamed about these kind of heroics all their lives. But even then, they usually think twice about their rose tinted glasses once they actually go up against a Torment for the first time... or a Nightmare, if they're particularly unlucky. ]

In fact – I'd say a lot of us are still scared now and then. Even if we've been at this for a while.

[ The girl takes in the information with a little hum, though it seems like a question quickly comes to mind - mostly because it hardly takes her any time at all before she's asking it, wide and curious eyes looking right at Ai. ]

Then how can you fight..?

[ She gets the why, really. The why of it all isn't a problem to Illya. It's what brought her here to this building in the first place, despite her fear.

It's the how. ]

Doesn't that fear make it feel like you'll just freeze right up without being able to do anything?

Oh, of course it does! Way more often than you'd think. Especially when you're heading out somewhere totally new and you have no idea what you're about to find. There's a lot of beautiful things out in the Dream Sphere, but... there's a lot of scary things, too.

[ Even so, her voice is fond. ]

But even when we're scared, we're able to find a way to be brave because we're not going at it alone. There's always other Dreamers who are ready to help if you get in trouble or even if you're just a little scared. We're all on the same side, so we all work together and watch each other's backs. You'll never be alone in a fight, so it's okay if you can't do it all by yourself.

[ She reaches out and takes one of the milk cookies for herself and favors Illya with a dazzling smile. ]

So long as you do your best. That's all anybody would ask.

I..

[ Illya starts, and then momentarily stops again, her hands around her mug like she's warming them up.

Truthfully, it's much more that her brain is just occupied with a whole lot of thoughts right now. Yet, as Illya is staring at the other, it feels really hard to do anything but agree with Ai.. It's something about that charming smile.

If Ai can be this cool about it, then Illya should be too, right? Or she should at least try. ]

I-I guess I can at least try it out then.. [ Joining the Dreamer Union and all. Actually becoming a Dreamer. ] I want to help people.

[ Even if it's scary. It's that fact - okay, and the fact that Ai is very convincing - that are pushing her forward to actually do this, after all. ]

But if I really start working as a Dreamer, then.. do I get help from someone like you..?

[ Look, Ai just seems very cool and experienced from the point of view of someone like Illya. ]

Heehee. Of course you do. I told you that making things less scary is my job, didn't I?

[ Even if it wasn't, there's no way she'd leave a girl like Illya to fend for herself. Maybe it's just years of picking up strays and getting them on the right track or maybe it's just a little empty nest syndrome with Amane having graduated out from her care – either way, she's pretty certain that she'd be extending a helping hand to this girl no matter what. ]

Giving it a try is all we'll ask from you. And even if you decide not to fight, signing up means we can help you with a lot of things once you start getting older – like maybe if you decide you'd like to go to Promised Morning, we'd help you with transferring.

[ If there's anything that helps here, it's all the reassurance. Illya still isn't sure how exactly she'll feel if she has to face a Torment - let alone a Nightmare again, but.. the more Ai says, the more it feels like she at least won't be alone in it. That there will always be someone to rely on, whether it's Ai or someone else.

.. Ai is really nice though, so Illya hopes it'll often be her.

The girl slowly nods. ]

I'll sign up. [ She releases a breath. Some tension disappears at least due to having made the decision, but there's still some antsiness for the future. ] About transferring and all that, I.. um, I'll have to think about it for a little while more first. I'd like to take things step by step, if that's okay..

[ It feels - through her experience so far - that Ai will find it okay, but Illya still can't help but word it this way. It's sheer instinct, habit.

Besides, she knows she has to take this step by step or she will just collapse like a fainting goat, honestly. ]

Of course it's okay. I mean, coming in here and deciding to sign up were already a lot of big steps to take in one day, right? So it's totally fine if you want to take a little bit more time before deciding on your next one.

[ That and Ai's pretty sure that if Illya tries to push herself to make even one more Big Decision today she might explode. ]

What we'll do now is talk a little more about how things are going to go once you've signed up and if that all sounds alright to you, then we'll get things started. We'll have to call your parents to confirm a couple of things – if that won't cause any trouble?

Ah..

[ Maybe it'll cause a bit of trouble. Or at least, that's what the girl's expression seems to indicate. She did seem a little nervous even a moment ago, as she said she was signing up, but it's like something extra sneaks into her expression the moment Ai mentions her parents. ]

I.. um, it's probably better to call my caretakers at home..

[ Illya doesn't even know if either her mom or her dad would pick up if they were to be called now, after all. Not with how they're always travelling all over the world, going to places where they sometimes don't even have reception.

Not to mention-- ]

I haven't.. really.. told my parents. [ She slowly confesses. At least she trusts Ai with this information after everything the other has said today - which is why Illya is admitting it in the first place, rather than trying to shove it under the rug. ]

[ Ai doesn't let her expression so much as twitch, even if seeing Illya's stumble makes something catch in her chest. She'd guessed there might be something like this just for the fact that Illya had been here alone to begin with, but her hesitation and the worried look on her face just confirms it. ... At least she's just nervous and not afraid, though. Nervous is probably fine. Nervous she can work with. ]

That's fine! It's just so somebody can sign some of the official stuff for you until you're old enough to do it yourself. Sort of like a permission slip for a field trip, or something like that. [ She keeps her tone bright and breezy, like this isn't even a topic notable enough to linger on – too much focus will probably make her withdraw even more. ] Especially since – if you do decide to start fighting on the other side – we might have to start talking about money for you and that's something your guardians would have to check over.

[ It's then that her tone softens a little bit, as does her smile. ]

And if you ever do decide that you want to tell your parents, then we'll help you with that as well. But it'll be up to you when and if it happens.

[ Illya is quiet for a moment, considering this. Getting Liz or Sella's signatures should definitely be enough for something like this, especially since they're her official caretakrs while her mother and father are out traveling the world, but.. Illya worries a little about even them knowing. They'd probably allow her to do this, but would they insist on telling her parents?

She isn't too sure about that part. Maybe she'll just have to hope they won't, or try to explain the situation to them. They might listen if she says it's just so her parents won't worry..

It leaves the girl quiet for a moment as she overthinks it, but then she turns her gaze back to Ai. ]

Do most people tell their parents right away..? [ Or, well, the Dreamers who are young enough to the point that it's even applicable, anyway..

It's why she doesn't ask Ai if Ai told her parents, even though she's very curious. She probably never had to, unless she's been a Dreamer for a really long while now. ]

Some people do, some people don't. [ which is a slightly less damning sounding response than the truth which is. 'yes'. She keeps her tone casual and almost a little distracted – like the topic is so mundane that Illya shouldn't worry about it for even a second. ] If someone's been really been wanting to become a Dreamer, they might tell them right away just because they're excited. Or if they're not sure they want to pursue it, they might hold off until they've made their mind up – like you, Illya-chan.

[ Or maybe you're like Ai and you don't have anyone to tell.

Well. It'd all worked out in the end, hadn't it? ]

So we'll take this at your pace. If you like, we can go and check over some of the things you can fill out by yourself, then you can take some of the other things home to talk about with your guardians. Would that be okay?

.. yes, that's alright.

[ The entire parental situation is something Illya will have to chew on in her own mind for sure.

But for now.. she can just do as Ai is saying. Looking at the things she can fill in by herself, and then thinking about how she's going to tell Liz and Sella later.

She'll figure it out. It's not something Illya can truly believe yet, not wholeheartedly, but..

It feels a little bit more possible, at least, thanks to Ai's sweet reassurance. ]

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there's a fork in the road (open)

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this is probably a good place to wrap! c: