★ my genius, flawless idol for life

[liedol]

⭐ Who: Ai and you!
⭐ When: its fucking dember
⭐ Where: Mostly in Yumemigaoka, with some planned Hunts and stuff in the Dream Sphere
⭐ What: Wow, that was pretty decidedly awful!!! Unfortunately, there's no rest for the wicked OR the DU's idol so even though she's a little running on fumes, Ai's still got a busy December ahead of her...! With DU work and idol work and holiday obligations all on her plate, the real question is: how does she ever find time to sleep???

Comments

[dullshooter]

[Okay, so, the important thing to keep in mind here is that Misfire thought it would be funny. Showing up to Ai's handshake event when he could just pop into her office anytime...he really thought he was onto something there. This thought persisted through several cake purchases. He could've stopped at any time, called it quits, but a commitment to the bit and a lack of understanding of the 'sunk cost fallacy' kept him going.

It's not until he's in line that he starts to question whether this really was a good idea, and at that point he's trapped on all sides by idol otaku. There's no escaping his decisions now.

Once he reaches the front of the queue, and his mere presence gets a giggle out of Ai, he thinks it was probably worth it. Five minutes, huh? Sure, he can get a lot of talking done in that time.]

Hey, what did I say? Saints, you and I. That goes for patience too - even if I was thinking I could take some of these losers with ease.

[He jerks a thumb back at the - still, quite long - line. It's probably for the best he didn't start a fight by pushing in, they have him vastly outnumbered.]

Figured I could give you a little break - or, if it's really that bad - cause a distraction whilst you get the hell out of here.

[liedol]

A break? No way, I'm having tons of fun here. It isn't every day I get to chat with this many people face to face.

[ She so needs a break. This is beyond exhausting. Her face hurts from smiling and laughing so much and not in a good way. Misfire, then, is an absolute godsend. Even if she can't exactly stop smiling, she can at least dial down the intensity a little. She can get through a handshake session while going at 100% the whole time if she has to, but the chance to get a breather is more than welcome. ]

I just didn't think I'd be seeing anyone from the DU! You guys must really love cake, huh?

[ Wink!

Uh huh. Cake. Sure. ]

[dullshooter]

Riiiiight. Yeah, we sure do. Can't get enough of the stuff, actually. Which is great, because I have enough to last me about a month. And that's if I have it for three square meals.

[He leans in, conspirational, and says in a whisper with a wink:]

Blink twice if you need me to pull the fire alarm.

[liedol]

Hmm, I'd say you could probably donate a few to the break room to get rid of them and lighten the load a little but pretty much everyone else probably had the same idea already...

[ You know, when he puts it like that, maybe accidentally encouraging half the population of Yumemigaoka to hardcore gorge themselves on cake all December was... semi-irresponsible? People are supposed to eat lots of good food during Christmas, sure, but she is potentially doing a whole lot of sowing that Ai-Doll's most dedicated fans are going to end up reaping...

... it's probably fine. If the cakes were that bad for you, there's no way they'd be allowed to buy so many. Right? Right. ]

Anyway...! I'm happy here, aren't I? I'm getting to have a good chat with everyone. And besides...

[ ... a similarly conspiratorial whisper: ]

If they evacuate, I'll have to wait for them to line up again once we're back inside.

[dullshooter]

[He leans back, nodding.]

Ah, I see. I see. Real spanner in the works there. Alright, new plan...

[He rubs his chin, thinking.]

...An actual fire?

[liedol]

[ A biiiiig dramatic sigh. ]

We'd probably have to pay something towards it, since it happened while I was here.

[ 'we' being 'the DU' presumably. ]

Maybe we could trade places when I next take my break? You could manage the rest of the line by yourself, right?

[dullshooter]

[He waves a dismissive hand as if to say, 'don't even worry about it!']

Of course. No problem. There's only, what, five hundred losers left in line? I could do that with my eyes closed. Which I'm gonna have to do to avoid the crushing looks of disappointment and leave with my ego intact.

[Sounds like a plan.]

How long you got left?

[liedol]

You can, huh? Well, let me see... if there's five hundred people in line and everyone gets five minutes then it should only take... ohh, two days, maybe? You'll be able to manage that easy, won't you?

[ Not that everyone in line is actually going to get to make it to the handshake session, of course — she's pretty sure only about a quarter of them have handshake tickets and the rest of them are just trying their luck and hoping to get in before the line cuts off. She's probably only got another hour or two before things start wrapping but that doesn't make for a funny escalation of the bit, so... ]

[dullshooter]

Sure. I’ll probably lose my mind around, what, the tenth person or so? That’ll make things a lot easier.

[He folds his arms and cocks his head to the side.]

You got something nice planned after this? Y’know, to help you through?

[liedol]

[ Of course she does. She'll be going home to Aqua and Ruby and she'll make sure to pick up some Christmas cookies on the way. They'll complain about the cold and fuss about winter homework and Ai's long hours and they'll eat together and laugh about everything and nothing. Some days, filling her mind with that idea is the only thing that gets her to the end of a handshake session.

But of course there's no way she's telling Misfire of all people. So, instead she gives him a wink and puts a finger to her lips. ]

Trade secret, sorry! What it is they say in movies and stuff... 'I could tell you but I'd have to kill you'.

[ Which is not, strictly speaking, untrue. ]

[dullshooter]

[Honestly, when he gets that response, he does have to wonder why he expected anything different.]

Y'know, there are worse ways to go...

[He playfully considers it for a moment.]

I have heard my fair share celebrity secrets - witnessed them too. Have I ever told you I used to fly private jets? Just saying. These lips? [He imitates a zipper over his mouth.] Totally sealed.

[He says, like a liar.]

[liedol]

You know, if you just went and told me about it now, I don't think your lips are that sealed.

[ She says it with a grin, though. And it's Misfire — someone from the DU — so she can probably afford to play, even if it's just a bit. ]

If you reaaally want to know... [ She goes for the whole conspiratorial side to side glance, as if there's any illusion whatsoever that she and Misfire are the only ones here. ] I'll be eating Christmas cookies and watching terrible old holiday movies on TV all night!

[dullshooter]

[He throws his arms up in mock shock.]

Oh, the scandal!

[He might now be making a little bit of a scene, but that's fine. It's for the bit.

He leans an elbow onto the table, similarly conspiratorial.]

Favourite trashy christmas movie?

[liedol]

[ So immediately she clearly didn't have to think about it; ] The Little Match Boy.

[ It's very pointedly not a good movie and has absolutely no resemblance to the fairy tale it's supposed to be riffing off, save the presence of a little boy and some magic matches but Ai loves it unreservedly anyway, entirely because the titular Little Match Boy had been Aqua back when he'd been poking his nose into child acting. He's beyond embarrassed by it now he's all grown up but... come on, what's a mom supposed to do other than rewatch it at least once a year? That's her baby out there!!! ]

I don't know if I'd call it trashy but it's definitely a little too sweet, you know? But I think that's perfect for Christmas.

[dullshooter]

Oh yeah, I know the one. Watching it definitely raises your blood sugar levels. Almost dangerously. Kid was cute, though. Wonder what happened to him? He'd be, what--

[He starts counting on his fingers, and then ultimately gives up.]

--old now. Well, child star old.

[liedol]

Who knows. [ blithely casual and noncommittal. ] If he hasn't acted in anything else, it could be he wasn't even a child actor — it could be that his mom or dad worked on the movie. Sometimes when it's a really small production and somebody drops out, you just end up casting whoever's available who can kind of do the role.

[ For all that she says she's not really an actress... this is a pretty flawless act. ]

But you're right. He'd probably be... hm, about twenty now? [ Purposely overshooting for plausible deniability. ] So he'd be all grown up. It's funny to imagine, huh?

[dullshooter]

Twenty? Yeesh. [Suddenly, he feels himself aging.] Let's hope you're right and he's just some random kid that walked on set, because that is a career that messes you right up.

[He briefly looks around himself for something, but comes up empty-handed.]

If I had a drink right now, I'd toast to him. Here's hoping you made it out unscathed, kid.

[liedol]

Chances are pretty good he's probably doing fine! Not a lot of people stick with acting for that long if they started as a kid. With any luck, he's working a super boring nine to five job at at office somewhere and he doesn't even remember the movie in the first place.

[ Which would probably be Aqua's ideal outcome here, come to think of it. ]

Or who knows? He could be right here in this line somewhere. You never know for sure how or when people are gonna pop back up.

[dullshooter]

[Misfire full-body shudders at the mention of a 9-to-5.]

It's bleak when your best outcome is an office job... [He scratches the back of his head and looks around the room.] Now you've got me wondering if he is in this line now. Almost like you're in on something.

[It's less an accusation, more of his imagination running off.]

Heh. Can you imagine?

[liedol]

[ With an authentically weary smile: ] If he's here right now and he's been lining up for all this time, then I guess the nine to five didn't exactly work out like I was thinking it would.

[ That and — come on, Aqua, you see her at home all the time. You've got better things to do!! ]

[dullshooter]

[Completely oblivious, he's just playing along at this point.]

Hey, it means he's got enough cash to spend on a frankly lethal amount of cake, right? That's not too shabby.

[He says that when he's here, aggressively without that much cash.]