yumemigaoka | Happy Dreamerversary!

.. I can let them know. I don't think Sella and Liz would mind..

[ They're pretty permissive in that sort of way, after all. That's how Illya ended up in the arcade by herself when she and Keiwa met early on, and clearly she had been there often before too.. ]

But, Keiwa-san. .. um..

[ It's hard to ask.

Because it feels weird to ask. Because she usually keeps all of this to herself. But he seems weirdly understanding of the situation with her parents, so maybe he'll understand this too. ]

Don't you think asking for help is.. bad..?

[his situation is a bit different from her, but he understands how awkward it can be to talk to strangers about it. If she says that her family is away for work, then - while he kind of hopes her parents at least take the time to call their daughter every now and again - there's not much else he can do for her, is there? Keiwa's own parents were gone, but he had his sister and their uncle's family. So he sympathizes a lot with not wanting to be an extra burden on the people around him...]

Huh? [he tilts his head slightly, confused, before shaking his head 'no'] I don't think so.

Nee-chan says a much; there are some things that can only be accomplished when everyone comes together to help. Knowing when to ask for help is as important as knowing when you can do something on your own too...

[he laughs a little sheepishly] Though it can be hard to figure out when to ask sometimes.

[ She isn't so sure if it's that important to know when to ask for help if you can just attempt - a-and fail, but ssh - to try and solve your problems by yourself anyway, but the part that comes after that definitely seems to capture her, judging by how she glances up at him with wide, surprised eyes. ]

Right? Isn't it?

[ If even an older person like Keiwa thinks that, then it's got to be true, rather than something Illya uniquely struggles with because she's too young or no good.. ]

Isn't it usually easier to just not ask at all? [ Because that's sure the way Illya lives her life.

Usually it's just easier to not ask, even if it makes the struggle in trying to solve the problem worse. ]

Mhmm.

... Asking is the hard part to be sure. The help you get can make things easier afterwards though. Nee-chan might not have the answers, but when we put our heads together, it's... It feels more manageable when we're together.

[There's an odd pause before Keiwa shuffles a little awkwardly. He thinks back to the last time they met in the Dream Sphere and can't help but worry a bit. Does Illya think she's a burden? (Keiwa sympathizes a little too much with that)]

Think of it like when you go to school... There's a difficult question that you've tried to solve. After a while, wouldn't you go ask your teacher for help? ... It's a little like that. [he huffs a little, like he's not quite happy with that example either]

It's good to try and solve a problem on your own... [a smile] But you shouldn't feel like you need to do everything on your own either.

[ Keiwa's explanation is a pretty good one, actually.

.. except there's one small problem with it.

The girl already looks a little guilty before she says it, like she doesn't want to say this and potentially undermine his efforts in explaining this to her, but on the other hand-- It feels like she should add this for clarification. So she slowly, shyly says: ]

Um, actually.. If I'm having trouble in class, I don't ask the teacher for help either, Keiwa-san..

[ Yes.

It's that bad. A complex? Illya? W-Why, of course she doesn't have one! This is totally normal thirteen year old behaviour..!! ]

[he blinks at her for a moment before he sputters, the surprise of it forcing a series of giggles out of him before he could even fully stop himself]

S-sorry, I'm not l-laughing at you.

[hold on, Keiwa takes a breath to get himself back under control]

I'm just... That seems a little extreme?

After all, if there's one person you should feel safe asking questions to, it should be your teacher. [once he's over his initial surprise, he doesn't sound offended or upset by Illya's admission. Maybe some part of him expected as much, after seeing how difficult it's been for the young girl so far. Then, a little more gently;] Can I ask why you don't want to ask for help?

[ She definitely looks shy about answering. For an entire mix of reasons, really - Keiwa laughing like that, her being reluctant to speak about herself, and then the fact that the answer feels kind of obvious to Illya, to a point where she's not even really sure why he's asking..

But in the end she definitely likes and trusts him enough to answer after all, even if it's a little hesitantly. ]

I mean.. Of course I wouldn't ask. There's so many kids in class. [ It's like she's avoiding directly looking at Keiwa as she speaks about this, instead nervously fidgeting with her hands. ] Wouldn't it be really selfish for me to ask for the teacher's attention when they have so many other kids to help out too..?

[in fairness to Illya, Keiwa also feels a little bad about laughing at her, especially when she's being this honest with him. It was just very surprising! The sort of thing that would catch anyone off guard, really...

For now, Keiwa listens patiently. Everyone has their reasons, right? And those reasons matter to that person so... The least he could do is try and understand it. In this instance...]

Well, I get it... [a sympathetic nod] It's always hard to ask when you see that someone's already busy.

But Illya-chan is a part of the class too, just like everyone else. Part of growing up is knowing when to try and solve problems yourself... And when to ask people for help too. [he smiles warmly at her] Learning when to ask is also part of growing up! ... Or so Nee-chan likes to remind me.

Truthfully... [another laugh] It's something I forget about too.

Y-Yeah, but--

[ It's difficult. Illya isn't even sure how far to go with this here for the exact same reason she has trouble asking people for anything. Even just talking this much about the issue with Keiwa makes her feel kind of guilty, like she shouldn't be doing it.

The only thing that kind of keeps her going is the knowledge that he struggles with it too, so maybe that makes the conversation a little bit more okay. If it's not just about her. ]

Usually it feels like.. maybe I'm just struggling because I haven't tried enough yet. S-So I just have to keep on trying until I manage to make it work. It's just like being a Dreamer. [ Oh no, see.. The same mindset applies there too.. The struggle is everywhere, Keiwa! ] I can't just ask other people to solve my problems just because I'm not good enough.

[how funny it is that the two of them share a similar sentiment. Maybe that's why Keiwa listens to attentively to her, without any sort of judgement or reprimand. He even nods thoughtfully as she continues to elaborate, because he knows that feeling pretty well.

Well, the difference seems pretty obvious. Keiwa had Sara to be nosy about his problems; always ready to lend a hand or check up on him when she spies her little brother struggling with some task or another. But he has a hard time turning people down, so perhaps her protectiveness spawned a different problem all together... One that neither sibling nor their remaining family members noticed]

But... This might sound silly, but Illya-chan comes off as a very diligent girl to me. People generally don't mind lending a hand when they see someone's doing their best already. Especially not with teachers and the like.

[smile]

And asking for help is different from asking someone else to do it for you. At least, that's how I think of it... It takes a while before you get comfortable with doing something, so you just have to keep practicing. This is a similar sort of thing!

[ It kind of sounds like it's easier for him. Which it is, and there's reasons for that, but Illya's young girl brain is scooting riiiight past all of that, to instead land on the conclusion that it clearly just must be easier for Keiwa since he's way more amazing than her.

Obviously.

And that means she can't properly explain it to him. He probably won't understand it more than this, given that he's amazing enough to have gotten over the problem, and Illya can't bring herself to. Even when he's putting it so kindly and patiently, it still seems like a daunting problem..

So rather than attempting to explain more, she just nods, and then inhales to give herself strength to put a small smile on her face when she looks at him. ]

I get it, Keiwa-san.

[ She doesn't actually get it at all.. ]

I'll try my best with it even more. [ No, she won't!!!!

But sometimes you have to attempt a bold-faced lie in order to get out of an awkward social situation like explaining a problem you have to someone who's far more amazing than you and wouldn't be able to realize how much a person so much worse than them would struggle with it forever..!! ]

Thank you for hearing me out.. You're so kind.

[he sees Illya all but shutting down and feels like he hasn't quite managed to help her. But he's also not sure how to continue pursuing it when she's all but made it clear that she doesn't want to continue]

...

I'll go and ask the museum staff to see if we can meet up with the diorama maker. [he smiles a little helplessly at her, clearly worried but trying to respect her boundaries too] Do you want to exchange contact information? It might be easier to coordinate that way.

[it's just a formality. He'll wave Illya off once they've arranged something]

You probably need to get back to the ice cream stall... Take care of yourself, Illya-chan. I'll see you next time.

Oh, yes! Um..

[ At least it does seem like it's relatively easy to get her to hand over her contact information while she's acting like this, so.. tadah, contact information get!! Now Keiwa does have her number in case he ever has to use it for more nefarious (read: fussing over a small child) purposes.

She is already turning to leave, but then seems to realize something at the last moment, giving Keiwa a polite bow. ]

You take care too, Keiwa-san.. Thank you for everything today! I'll see you soon, hopefully with the diorama maker..!

[ Aaand with that she's off. ]

Happy Dreamerversary!

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