I can get back up however many times it takes [OPEN]

[determinationtofist]

⭐ Who: Hibiki Tachibana & You!
⭐ When: Throughout October
⭐ Where: Out and about in Yumemigaoka or the Dreamsphere
⭐ What: A lot of post-disturbance aftermath, trying to wind back down after that, etc etc. Please plot with me for things or how your character intends to approach Hibiki afterwards if that's something they'll do.

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[determinationtofist]

I know! I know, but…

[ She looks down at her hands. They’re normal… a normal girl’s hands. Maybe a bit on the rough and calloused side from years of recklessness, but… ]

It was me… it wasn’t anything else, it was just me… I didn’t want it, but…

[ She laughs, but it’s painfully dry. ]

And I still have no clue how the heck I’m gonna handle my dad… I tried to be reliable, but I’m actually pretty hopeless, huh…

[liedol]

[ This is always the hard part, isn't it. The part where she has to talk like she's a reliable senpai who can point these kids in the right direction and soothe all their frayed feelings. That's exactly what Dreamer Ai-Doll was made to do and she's gotten pretty good at playing the part.

All the same... it makes her stomach turn a little sour to know all she can really do right now is pour out some platitudes for Hibiki to turn over in her head. Trying to be reliable and turning out hopeless...

Well. She understands that, at least. ]

I know. [ None of that feeling shows in her face and her voice is gentle and even. ] Everyone has thoughts like that when they get mad. It's just human nature. But because you were stuck in your Disturbance, it had to happen. But that doesn't make it your fault.

[ She reaches out, palm up, for Hibiki to settle her hand in Ai's. If she wants. ]

It's okay to not know how to handle things like this. Even grown-ups have trouble dealing with this kind of thing. ... you don't have to come up with all the answers on your own, you know.

[determinationtofist]

[ Hibiki hesitates for a moment… but ultimately lets her hand settle in Ai’s. It’s comforting in its own way, holding someone’s hand.

She knows already… she already knows in her heart everything that Ai just said. Feeling it is another matter, but… ]

Aha, I guess so… I just never wanted to bother anyone… I mean, even now, it must be…

[ She looks up at Ai… apologetically. As if apologizing for dumping a problem without a good concrete answer onto her. ]

…but bottling it up just got me stuck in a disturbance, so now… I just don’t know what to do anymore.

[liedol]

[ Her fingers close around Hibiki's and she squeezes gently. ]

It's hard, isn't it? When everyone else is having a tough time, you want to do your best for them. But then it's even harder to let them know when you're the one who needs some help.

[ Not that Ai would know, of course. ]

But... the counselors that work with the DU really are good at what they do. And they've been helping out everybody this has happened to. If you feel okay talking to them, they might be able to give you some good ideas. Or at least, they'll help you get it all off your chest. And that should feel at least a little better.

[ And then with that extra room to breathe, maybe she'll have some extra room to think, too. ]

[determinationtofist]

[ Ai's hand feels... nice. Soft, perfect, smooth... the perfect kind of hand to feel at a handshake event, almost unnaturally so. Like an extensive amount of care has been put into keeping it that way. It contrasts with comparatively rougher texture of Hibiki's hands, tough and calloused from years of thorough use. Powerful, but worn... whether it be from training or just overall recklessness. Then there's the occasional small cut-turned-scar, permanent marks reminding Hibiki of when she was younger and had a bad habit of picking at her scabs unless her Sunshine was there to grab them and start scolding her... until she finally got it through her thick head to leave those things be so that they could slowly but surely heal...

...Hibiki likes holding hands. You can learn a lot about a person from their hands... not much in the way of details, but rather... hints. ]

That... that sounds nice...

[ Talking to someone. Getting it off your chest. In theory it sounds really nice, but... Hibiki still finds herself with an instinctive flinch back at the thought of burdening someone else with her problems, let alone someone she doesn't know all too well. She knows that it's their job and all, but... ]

...Have you ever talked to them, Ai-san?

[ She finds herself asking without thinking. ]

[liedol]

I sure have. You think I'd just throw you to the wolves with a bunch of people I don't even know?

[ Her voice is playfully chiding and she gives Hibiki's hand a gentle squeeze. ]

I was a little younger than you, but I had some things I was going through that I couldn't talk to anybody else at the time. I'd just left B-Komachi and started working as a Dreamer and as a solo idol and I'd just moved to Yumemigaoka all by myself, too... so I was really struggling. And I hadn't made any friends in town yet, so I couldn't talk to any of those. I thought I was doing a good job of keeping it all in, but... well, my senpai at the time got me to talk to them. And now I'm doing a lot better.

[ She does her best to make her smile as encouraging as she can and hopes Hibiki doesn't ask for any more details than that. ]

You don't have to force yourself to stick with it if you feel like it's not working at all. But you'll never know unless you give it a try in the first place.

[determinationtofist]

You had stuff you struggled with too, Ai-san...?

[ It's... hard to imagine. With such an unmarred hand, it's always felt like Ai was invincible to that kind of thing.

But... isn't that what Hibiki was trying to be as well? In her own way, she'd tried to seem unstoppable... unbreakable. Someone who never buckled in the face of anything... and look at how true that had been.

Her Night Terror's words echo in her ears, and her hand briefly squeezes a little tighter. She made a promise to that facet of herself, that she wouldn't reject her again. Maybe... maybe everyone has something like that inside them.

...Hibiki sucks in a deep breath before speaking. ]

Haaah... I'll... I'll give it a shot.

[ She smiles... and though it's small and awkward, it's genuine. You'd think she'd have a different reaction to hearing that Ai of all people has ever had something that she really struggled with, but... ]