yumemigaoka | November catch-all ♫

So... yes. [A brief, playful grin.] But if you don't want to talk about it, I won't push.

[But that means she gets to talk about herself. That seems to take a bit of wind out of her sails. Still... Zeke cares. Zeke's cared since the start, and even if he can be a bit of a ham sometimes, it's a mask. She can recognize that much. So she doesn't need to put her guard up too much, and she lets out a breath, even if she's not entirely willing to meet his gaze.]

Dreamer stuff, as usual. Or maybe we'll call it Dream-life balance. I'm... dealing with some stuff on this side that came up after that last Disturbance, and it's stressing me out in new and exciting ways.

Assume I've yelled 'therapy' at you. [Because people! come! on! this is exactly the sort of thing it is for!]

[But, well aware that he's becoming a broken record to no avail, he settles for that meta comment and moves on.]

In absence of that, share it with me instead. I've had a few experiences in my life that might help, when it comes to that sort of balance.

My therapist is still working on unpacking it with me. I have a lot of- [she puts on a more professional, older tone-] long-held baggage that needs to be addressed in stages if we're to make any meaningful progress. We'll get there. I think.

[She looks back at him, a little surprised, before her gaze sharpens.]

My parents are pretty strongly against my being a Dreamer. I did tell them, but I think it really sank in when I woke up after taking a spike in my side going after Hibiki-chan. [She absently puts a hand to her side, presumably the spot she got winged.] I don't want to stop, though. It's important to me. So I haven't told them anything since.

[That's pretty much every Dreamer except Zeke himself, who has been doing the therapy thing for long enough that he's pretty well unpacked and moved in.]

Because it's dangerous, or because they don't approve of it as a career? Or even a side job?

[No questions, no doubts. That story is way too familiar.]

Both, I think. They're big business types, so they want me to go to college - already doing that, though - and get a good, real job. But I think they see Dreaming as a distraction, not to mention it being dangerous.

[A beat.]

There's a reason I haven't told them about my girlfriend. Well, ah... several reasons. B-but the point is that they'd say she's a distraction too! And... [Lisa sags in her seat, and her expression darkens.] And I need one of those a lot more than they understand. So they're not wrong, but it'd make my life worse on the day-to-day. [Another pause.] Am I even making sense?

Whoa whoa whoa, back up a moment. When'd you get a girlfriend?

[It's not necessarily a bad thing that Zeke's out of the loop, since knowing too much about the personal lives of teenage girls would be weird. But Lisa's a Dreamer he feels somewhat protective of.]

[She looks at him for a moment, head tilting slightly. Then she grins, laughing, as some of the dark mood dissipates.]

After all that, she's the thing you're going to notice first? [Her mirth eases, but the grin stays.] Um, right at the beginning of summer. I don't know that I've been talking about it much, but she's... a good influence. I'd be in a lot worse place without her. [A beat, and her expression settles into something calmer but warmer.] She needs me almost as much as I need her, but that's okay. It's... nice to have someone that trusts you enough to lean on you, you know?

The other stuff's heavy, I'll get to that. [Zeke nearly sideswipes a lady and a kid as he stretches his arms out, just to clap his hands together in delight.] Anyone I know?

[That it is; Lisa nods, taking that in stride.]

Easy there, before you hurt someone. But... you've met Junna, I think. Dreamer Sage, when we're going adventuring. [She shakes her head softly, before returning her gaze to Zeke.] I'm not exactly keeping it a secret, but I guess I've been too discreet anyway. I feel like nobody knows unless she or I come out and tell them. Not that I mind that! I don't want to start trouble, either.

[If possible, Zeke perks up even more at the name -- then throws his hands out wide and leans back.]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[This endangers no one, because everyone has already moved away from the obviously crazy man.]

You two are a perfect match! That's the best news I've heard all month! Congratulations to both of you!

[Lisa knows he's no harm to her and still leans back a bit as he laughs, the sheer volume taking her aback. She also knows he's not the type to laugh at her, so she assumes he's just surprised. Which is... fair, really. Still, as he continues, she turns on the megawatt grin.]

Thanks! I'm... I was a little nervous at first, so I'm glad it doesn't seem strange. [A beat, and a tiny bit of her new cheer fades.] I'm sure it looks different from the outside, but I'm always glad we're similar enough we get along well day to day. I want to do right by her, you know?

[Zeke is happily in a relationship, so his "approval" carries some weight, and some part of her relaxes in the knowledge that other people seem to think it's a good match.]

You two are both great. The only thing I'd worry about is you guys getting way too overthinky about it, so you just mind that and you're in top shape.

[Heh. Well then. Zeke shrugs his long coat back a little and drops down to the seat next to her.]

Now then. Parents are a tough sort. You want advice, empathy, or sympathy?

I dunno if you're ever going to get us to paper over that one. Still, we're... trying to control each other's excesses, let's say. [But she's still beaming. Yeah, they still go a little crazy sometimes, but... less so? So it's fine.

Some of that lessens as he gets to the elephant in the car, and Lisa's glance is somewhat forlorn. Still, it doesn't pierce the warm feeling in her chest, so she's... swinging a little bit.]

I've already decided my answer, at least for the short term, whether or not it's a good idea. So... I don't really know beyond that. Feeling sorry for myself makes me feel better but just makes me miserable. So I'm, um, trying to do less of that?

I wouldn't call it comfort, but you're not alone. Plenty of Dreamers have trouble with their family. Sam came here to get away from them and I haven't talked to the folks in six years or so. Your parents sound like they care about you, so I'm hoping you can get through this. But you've always got the rest of us as family too.

[That's not just idle talk, either! Despite not being a weird middle-aged man, Zeke still views himself as a paternal figure to the Dreamers at large. Taking care of them and looking out for them is one of his many solemn duties.]

It's okay to be sad. What you don't want to do is get stuck, either in one place or charging forward too fast.

Huh. That's new information. [And puts things in a little bit of context, if not terribly much more. Sam being the only mitigating force on Zeke is slightly terrifying.] But... yeah. They do. We just have different ideas on how I want to live my life. I know some of that is just kinda... how things are for parents and their kids. Doesn't make "we think you need to get out of this whole Dreamer business" any less of a slap in the face, though.

[Zeke does have good advice, though, and she patiently sits and listens. And it's not like she hasn't been chewing at the problem for a bit now... it's just been stressing her out anyway. A little more of the brightness fades from her expression, putting her back at the high end of average.]

I... mm. Yeah, that makes sense. I pulled myself back from doing anything drastic, but at the same time... I won't let another Disturbance go by without me. So I'm figuring out what to do in the meantime. [She's silent a moment, worrying at her lower lip. Then:] For the moment, I'm going to try putting some space between us. Uh, literal physical space, not just. Emotional space. I went back to apartment hunting, since it's a little bit of a commute from my parents' apartment to university.

[Hey, he had NO mitigating force for years, and somehow everything survived! He even got a government job. He's a successfully-integrated chuuni!]

Oh yeah, same deal. Far as my parents are concerned I'm dead to them so long as I'm a Dreamer. Here's hoping yours doesn't get that far. [He gives her a comradely nudge with one elbow, just to emphasize the support.] You sound like you're on the right path though. Some space like that might just help a lot.

[Lisa gives him a sympathetic look, recognizing that there's a lot further downhill things can go before they're truly bad.]

I hope not either! That sucks, and I'm sorry to hear it. And if the worst happens, I'll be leaning on you, yeah? So... thanks, Zeke. I appreciate your support. And, ah, I don't know how much help I'll be, but if you need me, I'm here for you.

I know. My goal is to not need that. Not because I don't trust you or rely on you or don't want to somehow 'burden you with my problems'. [He waggles a finger to emphasize the point.] But because it's my job to help you grow and develop as a Dreamer and a person, yeah? And that include being a good role model about taking care of myself!

[Her lips curl upward into a grin.]

Just this once, I wasn't actually thinking about any of those things. But I appreciate the thought. I know what my actual strengths are, and if you ever need a batch of sweets or something, you know where to find me.

[A pause. Then:]

As long as I find a place with a decent oven, at least! That's on my must-haves list. But yeah, I'm definitely grateful to have someone willing to keep an eye on me. Junna's good at it, but she can't be there all the time.

Hmph, better if I'm clear on that sort of thing. I'm setting an example, after all. Who's going to listen to anything I say if I don't practice what I preach, yeah?

[But that's heavy enough for now. Zeke elbows her slightly, careful to hold back. Unlike many Dreamers, he tries to keep his physical body in good enough shape that going from the Dream Sphere back to reality doesn't inspire dysphoria in him.]

I could go for something over-fresh, though. Sam'll be lucky if I ever let her go again now that I've been without her food for a while.

You're right, but I think we're more likely to listen to you either way. Just like we listen to Ai-senpai because we know what she's done, you have enough of a legend that people will listen just on rumors and record. But... it makes me happy you're keeping yourself honest. There's a reason they say you shouldn't meet your heroes, and I'm getting a little deep in the paint now. So I'm glad I've had good luck so far.

[Her grin turns into something more honest as she glances across at him, and she giggles at the nudge. Lisa... does not train on this side - she has too many other claims on her time. She'd probably consider it if someone asked her...]

I'll swing by sometime with a batch of... maybe not super sweet stuff, I don't know if you'd appreciate it the same way Hanako-kun would. I've been meaning to draw up a batch of oatmeal cookies and see if I can keep them tasty without going crazy on the sugar. [Then the rest of the words process and she perks up.] I didn't think about that - are you doing all right on your own? I miss Sam... I hope she'll be back soon, but I know she's got stuff going on.

Ugh, tell me about it. Her family... Well, let's just say I, estranged from my own, feel lucky.

[Zeke shakes his head, grimly enough that he's obviously overplaying it... but still.]

But I'm getting by just fine. Appreciate the concern, but my biggest danger is getting yelled at for my eating habits again.

Sometimes I wonder if there's some cosmic application process to become a Dreamer. I know we have an idea what gives people their Sandglasses, but we sure don't see well-adjusted Dreamers very often.

[She says this with a soft smile; while it's clear her own circumstances are still on her mind, she's feeling comfortable enough to joke about it, so. She'll be fine.]

No sugar cookies for you this year, message received. Well, I did want a new challenge...

[Lisa's comment, amazingly, makes him grin as he leans back slightly.]

We don't see well-adjusted Dreamers often because being a Dreamer messes you up bad. Think about it. You've been handed a weird sort of power no one is really equipped to just work with the moment you get it, barring myself of course. You go off into strange worlds and get into frequent battles, You get made a lot of by the public, the DU, the government, everything. None of that stuff's really healthy, you know! It's a hell of a lot to dump on a teenager on top of everything else you've got to struggle with at that age.

[That gives Lisa pause, and she sinks back into her train seat as she thinks. It's... vexing.]

And when I did get that weird power, even all that was still better than the situation I was in when I got it, so I didn't mind diving headfirst into that lifestyle because it hurt less... and even now, the way it's changed my life, I'd still rather have this. [For a second, she looks helpless, as she looks at her hands in her lap. Then she shakes her head, glancing back to Zeke.] Damned if you do, damned if you don't, huh? And then you've got the crazies like me that want to keep doing it. [There's something about the grin that comes to her face... it's self-deprecating, sure, but she knows she's going the right way at the end of the day. Pain now with the promise of a better tomorrow.] I'm sure we frustrate you to no end when we aren't taking this seriously.

November catch-all ♫

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