yumemigaoka | Theater Kid is Experiencing a Long December

If we had all the answers, dating wouldn't be any fun, right? Sometimes you have to make mistakes to enjoy the successes. [And isn't that a metaphor for her entire teenage life? The bitter irony shows on her face for a second in a very strained smile, before she shakes it off and continues.] Which means it's a good thing you're willing to deal with me tonight. Nowhere to go but up!

[It comes out with a bravado she doesn't quite feel, but she's getting there. Being able to draw strength from someone who's unreservedly happy to be with her helps. A lot.]

Part of me expects mistletoe in here somewhere - it is a winter plant, after all. I'm trying to keep my eyes open as we go. [She winks at Junna.] Just in case.

[She says that as she starts to move again, trusting Junna will be with her. There's a lot of white in the branches, only some of which looks natural - the snow isn't heavy enough to be inconvenient, but it's enough to add ambience to the garden. She spots a sea of red in front of them, poinsettia lining the initial space; something properly seasonal yet easy (well, "easy") to work with. Probably a good thing she didn't wear her other scarf, she'd blend into the room.]

I know that feeling. But... [She does know that feeling -- how often she's felt like she has stumbled and only managed to get back up through hard work. She can't shake it -- even today, it's at the back of her mind -- but it's easier to see it with Lisa.] It's not dealing with you. There's no one else I'd want to be with, tonight.

[She smiles a bit more. Her cheeks color a little, too, and her eyebrows lift behind her glasses.]

Mistletoe, hm? Well... I'll keep an eye out too. But we can improvise, if we can't find some.

[She moves with Lisa, looking over the plants -- and the snow, with wide eyes. But her awe really comes out with the poinsettia. She gasps, a gloved hand coming to her mouth. And she nudges closer to Lisa, when she does, with excitement.] Aah--Lisa, look at those! That's amazing...

[Lisa's chest feels warm despite the balmy evening; it's one thing to know Junna feels that way, but it's another entirely to hear and see it.]

Me neither, but... it's good to be sure, sometimes. To make sure you know how I feel, for better or worse. [She chuckles softly.] Even if I think you can read it on my sleeve most of the time.

[Her grin turns indulgent at the idea of making it work if they don't find a sprig of mistletoe, as they walk; yeah, they can just kiss anyway, but-] It takes all the fun out of it if you just do that on Christmas Eve, you know! There's a method to these things!

[But when Junna catches sight of the poinsettia, and comes in closer, Lisa's eyes sparkle.]

I know, right? It's the middle of winter, and yet here's something super vibrant and colorful. I mean, they're a great color too, but. They're just pretty.

Mm. I know what you mean. [She leans over, resting her head on Lisa's shoulder for a second. It helps that she's not do much taller than her, so it isn't too awkward. She smiles, too.] And I like to hear it.

[It's a confidence boost. She won't say no to those these days.

Though she lifts her head up -- and grins back at Lisa, playfully.] Far be it from me to mess up the method to Christmas, then~.

[When they get to the poinsettias though, she leans her head on Lisa's shoulder again. There's a fond sigh, too.] They are. The color, the weather, the company... it's just perfect.

Then I'll be sure to tell you. As often as you like.

[Junna is... more forward than her, but also a little freer with touches than she is. Which she's happy about because she likes those, thank you very much, but kinda sucks because she wants to be spontaneous too, dang it! Something to... try to work on later, she supposes. It's important to her and she doesn't want to feel like she's taking and not really giving all the time.

Especially since Junna keeps doing it. Lisa settles for squeezing her girlfriend's hand, joy and affection welling up with no good way to express them beyond her words.]

Mm. It's a perfect moment, with someone I'm happy to spend it with. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[...she's going to regret that she doesn't have a picture of this, huh? But that's okay. The version in her heart could never be expressed in something so fleeting as a picture. So she'll just... bask in this feeling for a bit.]

That's pretty often.

[She's a little surprised that she is -- but really, it comes naturally to her. She has had kisses on stage before, and even if those don't count... there is a certain familiarity that makes it easier to do for real. Junna looks at Lisa, squeezing her hand in return.

It is a perfect moment. It's everything she could have wanted.

She's been glad that she asked Lisa out, many times before. But she's especially glad she did now. She looks at the poinsettias, and she stays like she is, leaning against her.

Then, quietly, she says:] This -- us, I mean. It's... really working out, isn't it?

Then I'll have to carry lozenges!

[Lisa laughs lightly. It's a bubbly, slightly off-the-wall remark from someone who is learning to take the bright moments where she can find them, and make them herself if the has to.

The quiet comment catches her a little off guard, but it's understandable. It'd... felt like something they did on a whim, months ago, bond getting stronger with time. Now they're on a Christmas date. And somehow-]

Yeah. It surprises me, sometimes, you know? I... felt pretty lucky when you asked me. I still feel pretty lucky now. But I want to make this work, for as long as you do. So... I hope I can make you feel as lucky as I do, Junna. Tonight, and for as long as our journey lasts.

[...she knows it's corny, she's screaming at herself internally that it's so cringe, but it's still how she feels, so she endures.]

[That gets a laugh out of Junna, too.

She looks sideways at her with a smile -- she liked the joke. Thought that means she's also watching Lisa when she answers. She's quiet for a second after Lisa gets all of that out; she takes it in, really, but the pause could be a little awkward. But, then she nods back at her. And if it was cringe... well, Junna didn't notice.]

You do. I wasn't sure, when I asked you -- if you'd say yes, if you liked me that way, liked girls that way, or... where it would lead either. [It was almost an impulse, at the time. For all that Junna says she likes to plan and think things through, that she's a hard worker, she can be impulsive.]

But you've made me feel lucky every step of the way. And... I want to take more plenty more, too.

[Lisa chuckles again as Junna mentions she wasn't sure what Lisa thought; the sound is a little less happy this time.]

If you'd asked me my preferences before you asked me out, I wouldn't have been able to give you a real answer. I've been so caught up in myself for so long, I haven't really thought about being in a relationship. So when you asked, that's why I was so shocked. You surprised me, you know? [She lets out a breath.] But I knew it would work out, once I thought about it for a second. I... knew I could like you, whatever else happened. If you'd never asked, I'd have been by your side as a friend whenever you needed me.

[She tugs Junna as close as she can manage the way they're standing.]

But you did, and I like this more. I like you, as much as I've ever been attached to anything in my life. And I want to make sure you hear it. From my lips, with nothing else in the way, no shenanigans, no Disturbances.

[She takes another deep breath and lets it out slowly; her hand shakes softly where they're still linked.]

I love you, Junna.

Mm, that makes sense. It's... well, it's on my brain sometimes. You're always performing, and there's usually something about romance. But it felt overwhelming for a long time to imagine for myself. [She looks sideways at Lisa, then, and her head tilts. She flushes a little bit -- hearing Lisa would have been beside her no matter what happened or what she wanted. That...

Well, it gets her right in the heart. Even if some days, things feel so overwhelming -- like they're just so much -- it's like she can't think of anything else right now. And she already thought today was a good day. Today is a great day.

She stammers at those three words. Her cheeks are burning red, and she hesitates. Then she smiles, and she walks closer, putting both her hands on her shoulders. And when she blinks -- well, she's close enough for Lisa to see that Junna is tearing up. In the good way. And smiling, brightly, too.]

I love you, too. More than anything.

There's a reason I didn't play love songs that often, before I met you. Or even for a while after I met you. [And why she's flatly refused to tempt fate with breakup songs in the last few months! Nope, definitely wholesome and positive music for Lisa, auto-playlists notwithstanding.

But in any event... she got out what she wanted to say, and she relaxes, just a little, a smile on her lips. Even if Junna doesn't return that feeling today, that's okay. Even if Junna never returns that feeling... well, it's Junna's line she'll have stolen, but it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, right? She's happy just to have gotten it off her chest. Junna is important enough to her that she deserved to know, whatever she chose to do with that knowledge. With her.

But... the reaction she's getting seems to be hinting she's worried over nothing. Surprise, certainly, but... maybe she didn't need to work up so much courage for this after all. She feels bad for making Junna cry, as her partner comes around to look directly into her eyes, but that's okay, because she can't keep herself from crying either. There's no way she was going to be able to keep from bursting with happiness after this. When she hears her feelings returned... it's like something melts away, and she feels a bit of her heart settle into place that had been stubbornly refusing to fit quite right. She'd never thought she'd find someone that could care for her like this, and yet here she is. Here that wonderful, beautiful person is, for her to cherish and protect, occasionally more literally.

...Junna is perhaps a bad influence on her, but Junna is also the best influence on her, so her insecurities can stuff it. And in keeping with that, she does not suppress the urge to finally be forward in showing physical affection, and leans forward for a kiss, this time far less tentative. Slow enough for Junna to stick a hand in her face if she needs to, but fast enough there's no doubt how she feels.]

[That makes Junna smile. She's not surprised that Lisa started listening to more love songs -- even if she hadn't at first, before they got together. Junna started listening to a lot more after they started dating. But, she has a lot of reasons to be smiling right now -- and she laughs, despite that she's crying, when she sees Lisa is too. It's not even that it's funny, but there's a lot of happiness and it has to go somewhere.

She looks at Lisa and thinks, not for the first time, how lucky she is. She always thought she wouldn't find someone; that she was too neurotic, that her parents wouldn't approve of who she would want to date, that she wouldn't be able to make time. Those objections all fell apart, one after the other, and here she is. She can't imagine letting go of Lisa now.

She does blink with a little surprise -- usually, she's the one who's more forward -- and then she brightens up even more. She kisses Lisa back, and there's not a care spared for the way that people might see. Her arms hang off Lisa's shoulders, as she closes her eyes. She stays in the kiss for awhile. And when they do finally pull back...

She rests her forehead against Lisa's.]

"Soul meets soul on lovers' lips." [That's another quote. At this point... Junna figures Lisa doesn't mind when she's a total nerd.]

[She's elated that Junna's on the same wavelength. Not that she's thinking a whole lot during their kiss. The affection flowing from her heart keeps her from focusing on too much else. But when the moment ends, her warm, calm smile seems like it'll never leave.]

Nerd. But... my nerd. Show me later?

[She's going to end up looking at small pieces of a million different plays for their sappiest lines, isn't she. Eh, there are far worse things to do with an afternoon.]

Definitely your nerd. [She laughs again, and ends up hugging Lisa a little tighter. It's funny, how hearing Lisa call her that can make her giddily happy. She nods against her, before she pulls back just enough to look her in the eye.] I will.

[Junna keeps smiling. This is definitely the best Christmas Eve date she could have ever hoped for. She reaches a hand up, fingers gently resting on Lisa's cheek.]

You want keep looking at the garden? [Whatever her answer is, Junna's not ready to call it a night yet. Not by a long shot.]

Edited 2025-02-25 20:23 (UTC)

[It'd been a spur-of-the-moment thing, and she's kinda surprised the first thing out of her mouth was so possessive... no, actually, that's not really surprising, thinking on it a moment more? Of course she's going to latch onto the person that she's devoting so much of herself to. If anything, it's a little surprising it took this long. But hey, if Junna likes it, she's not complaining, as she lets herself be pulled in closer.]

I'm happy to keep walking around! If we just want to sit somewhere and enjoy each other's company, though, it's a little chilly out here, unless they've got a heater set up somewhere. I'd say you're keeping me warm, but, ah, there's a limit to that, you know?

[As it happens, Junna likes the possessiveness. Sometimes that feels nice; it comes with parents who expect a lot of her and the fact her first relationship has turned out so well. Having someone latch onto her -- and someone to latch onto -- makes her feel great. She looks sideways at her, and she smiles all the brighter.]

Let's keep walking around, then! It's chilly enough that I'd like to do something to keep warm. And... [She leans a little against Lisa.] ...The company and the scenery are perfect.

Well, then who am I to deny that? Not that I'm complaining either. It's nice to have pretty things to look at in every direction. [~~a little late for the pick-up line, Lisa, you did the hard work already-~~]

I don't know what else I'm looking for, though... it's not like the aquarium, I kinda had an idea what to expect in there. I have no idea what winter plants are.

[That is, please save her, Junna, she's already seen one of the two she knows and has been actively looking for the other hanging from the ceiling-]

[Junna laughs at the pick-up line -- in a fond way, not because she found it corny. She nudges up against her again, and then she looks sideways at Lisa. She considers her question...

And then she gets a more serious look on her face.]

Then, follow me, and I'll show you the wonders of winter plants!

[...she says it completely sincerely.]

Theater Kid is Experiencing a Long December

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