yumemigaoka | Theater Kid's March Comes in Like a Lion

Y...yeah. That sounds like me. Starting everything and barely keeping up, and--and hiding behind how busy I am. I'd... get up at six in the morning, you know. To go jogging, first thing, and say it was to keep in shape. Except it was to stay busy, so I didn't have to think too hard about it. [She looks down, too, and there's a slight laugh. There's not much mirth in it, though.] I really am an actress, even towards myself.

[She looks up, though, and she listens as Lisa explains. She's quiet for a second, but -- on the question of whether Junna understands that she's still got accomplishments, on the question of whether she can balance things, and on the question of what happened. She overextended herself. It's something that Lisa has done; that a lot of people do. And, slowly, Junna nods her head.]

...I know. I know my work means something. And I... I don't want to give any of those up, Lisa. I know I need to... learn to not overextend. To ask for help. To share my burdens with you and the others.

[She's quiet, though, for a second. There's the question of her parents -- of the fact that there could be a wedge driven between Junna and her parents. She looks to the side, and it might be the wrong thing to do; like she's about to give Lisa bad news and doesn't want to look her in the eye. But there's a bigger question, and Junna sees the vulnerable look on her girlfriend's face. She realizes, then, this question is bigger than the one she first asked.

She looks back at Lisa. She blinks; a couple stray tears roll down her cheeks, and then she reaches out, and takes Lisa's hand in both of hers.]

...If they make me choose, it's-- [She swallows, then her voice is stronger. Firmer.] It's you, Lisa. I love you. And... I can't deny who I am for them anymore. It almost destroyed me once. I don't want it to again.

If you want someone to keep you from brooding too much on your runs, I can come with you? I probably need to get more exercise anyway. Um, you might need to take it slow at first for me, though... [She shakes her head.] But I'll help you keep up with as much as you want to keep doing.

[And then she's waiting on the edge of her seat for Junna to consider how they go forward as... well, as them. As two in harmony, instead of friends having a casual night out. She's watching Junna, her mind reading into every motion and every expression. And for that one horrible moment, she's certain Junna is going to choose to try and find a middle ground, and make them both miserable down the road when her parents inevitably decide Lisa is nothing more than a distraction for their daughter. Her heart sinks. But... she'll wait. She can't let herself spiral before she even actually knows the answer, no matter what she thinks it is. She sure looks like she's about ready to burst into tears (again) at a moment's notice, though.

Then she sees Junna turn back to her, and reach out for her. And she dares to hope, while she listens... and she finally loses her composure, when she hears the decision. She breaks down into ugly tears, bending forward and sobbing, head bent over their joined hands. She shakes her head frantically for a second, understanding she's probably freaking Junna right out, but she can't get words out right now. For the better part of a minute, she's just inconsolable, her overtaxed emotions finally finding a crack to bleed off. Eventually, she manages-]

S-sorry! I'm- I'm happy, I am! I just- I was s-so scared, and I... [Nothing again for a moment.] It's been a l-long month, you know!? Just- just give me a minute!

[Ah, yes, good, she can add being mortified to the list of issues she's having. Junna's supposed to be the one mildly freaking out and making hard decisions! She's just supposed to be the supportive person there to help her think and maybe give her a hug in times of need! Why is she getting emotional!? Or, well, she knows why, but why now!?]

Sure... [The offer comes as a surprise to Junna. She smiles, though. It'd be nice to have a jogging partner in the morning. Especially if that partner is Lisa.] I'd love to have you along.

[That feels so small compared to what happens next, though.

Junna can see how nervous -- how fragile -- Lisa is. She's worried throughout about saying the wrong thing, even if this is a situation where they're saying what they need to say and not what the other wants to hear them say. But when Lisa starts sobbing, head bowed over their joined hands, Junna sucks in a gasp. There's a sudden, sharp shock of fear that runs through her.

She might not want to get between Junna and her parents. It might be assuming too much of Junna's parents, who don't even know. It might be more than Lisa can deal with right now. There's a lot of reasons that it might be too much. And Junna feels worry building, that maybe things aren't going to work out and maybe--

Then Lisa manages to talk. And Junna blinks her eyes again and lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding.]

I-I know. It was a really long month. It's okay, Lisa... it's okay. I-I, um... [She stops herself from apologizing. Instead, she gently tugs on Lisa's hands and tries to pull her over to sit with her on the bed -- and where she can hug her.

Tightly. She needs it too.]

Edited 2025-03-06 22:23 (UTC)

[Is it okay, though? Lisa hears that gasp, feels the jolt between them. Understands that she can't keep doing this to Junna, this is exactly why she wasn't going to bother her earlier. She's... slowly coming down from the adrenaline high, able to find her breath (shakily) and her voice again, but she feels wrung out all over again.

Thus, she doesn't resist when Junna tugs her over to join her, or pulls her hands free. Lisa is intimately aware her girlfriend is presently much, much more put together than she is, and is more than happy to submit to her decisions right now; she doesn't trust herself to decide what to eat for dinner... which she might have missed in her depressed funk, oops. Just more proof she's a total and utter mess.

So when Junna's arms wrap around her, she freezes. She'd been busy beating herself up for everything, but... it's not just about her, is it? Junna's here now because she needs her. Whatever Lisa thinks of herself (Nobody ever has! rings in her head before she shoves it into a garbage chute, not quite fast enough to ignore it), Junna chose her, again, and she needs... needs to honor that. Needs to step up and be present. Needs to get over herself. One person believes in her. Someday, maybe she can raise that number. But right now... one is enough.

Slowly, tentatively, she brings her own arms around Junna. She's been dreaming of this for three weeks, now, returning to the comfortable place she's been missing, and she starts to relax almost immediately. She... needed this. Badly. Lisa's shaking slows and then stops, and while her breathing is still erratic, she's... better, after a moment to attune. So she can focus on the things she needs to say, instead of focusing on her own inadequate self.]

It's not okay. I'm not okay. I don't know... if I've been okay in a long time. And I hate it. [Her voice is muffled where she's snuggling into Junna's shoulder, too short to nestle into her neck and hating it in this specific moment.] But right now, I'm home. [The tips of her ears turn pink.] I missed you. I missed you so much. I couldn't stand it.

...I know. I'm not okay, either. But you're who I want. I want you on our good days... and our bad ones. [She says it quietly, one hand running through Lisa's hair.

She keeps her arms around Lisa, and then she leans her head down. Her face buries into Lisa's neck -- and her hair, too, and she sighs softly. It's warm, it's comfortable, and it's sensations she didn't forget but that felt so distant when she was trapped inside of the Disturbance. Like a warmth she would never be able to find again. Her arms hold Lisa, though there's a tremble.

She closes her eyes, and she enjoys the feeling of just holding Lisa for a second. And being held, herself. But she doesn't stay quiet, even if her voice is muffled too.]

I missed you too. [She says it quietly, and there's memories of the Disturbance coming back.] I just... just wanted to see you again. I was scared over--over all these stupid things. But even at the worst of it, I knew... I wanted to be with you again. Be in your arms again.

[She breathes in, face still buried against Lisa's neck.] I'm home, too. With... with you.

Mm... [The feeling of being held, of having her hair stroked, does so much more to relax her than literally anything else. She'd thought La Pucelle had bottled that sensation, but there's definitely no substitute for the real thing.] I want... more good days. I'm tired of everything falling apart around us. But I want you with me for all of it, no matter what.

[She could fall asleep like this. Probably should, she's. Had a lot of rough nights. But not right now. Right now, someone else needs her more. Even if she doesn't take this chance to make sure everything's clear between them, she needs to at least do more. She can feel that much in the hand atop her head. Her arms tighten around Junna; she's careful not to squeeze too hard, but. If she walked here, she's cleared for a proper embrace.]

I'll make sure we don't have to be apart again. And you can stay right here, as long as you like. [Forever, she tries to add, but the word won't come; she can't- can't promise that right now. Still... she can't ask for more, either.] Welcome home, Junna.

Me too. [Junna's quiet for a second. She'd like life to not throw them a curveball constantly. But... but, they can get through this, she tells herself. And she knows what she needs to do. Lean on people more; share what she's feeling; not try to carry every load and every burden by herself. That can help Lisa, too, she reminds herself.

There is a moment of hesitation, though, when she feels Lisa hug her -- and, frankly, she isn't injured physically. It's the irony of a Disturbance, she supposes. Her arms slide down to hold Lisa, gently, and she smiles after that. Welcome home...

That feels nice. No, it feels perfect.] ...thanks, Lisa. I needed to hear that. I needed... this.

[A reminder that she has some place she belongs. She considers, though, what Lisa says. As long as she likes. She hugs Lisa back, but then she pulls back a little to look at Lisa and meet her eyes. She doesn't want to have any miscommunication.]

...how, um... [Her face reddens a little.] ...How long do you want me to stay?

I think I needed you to hear it. I... it came out in a- [fit of rage-] bad moment, a week ago, and it's been in my head ever since. It felt right. But... any time you need a reminder, I'm right here.

[Lisa's confused for a moment when Junna pulls away a little, before she realizes what she's asking, and... a mischievious smile comes to her lips, for the first time in almost a month.]

I said when I let you in in the first place, right? As long as you like, and I'd go as fast as you're comfortable with. [She backs off the playfulness a little bit.] If you want to stay a while longer, or even for the night, I'd be happy to have you. I'd like that, even. I'm not going to be able to stay awake for a proper sleepover, but, well... I'm not ready to let you go just yet. I'll understand if you say no, though.

[In the back of her mind, she knows this is... pretty forward, for her, and she tries to figure out what possessed her to offer. But she realizes after a moment that it makes perfect sense. Partly that there's no reason Junna needs to leave if together is where both of them agree they belong; and partly that she recognizes Junna is probably going to be what helps her sleep tonight, one way or another. Even if she has to steal her hoodie for the night and send her home in one of hers so she doesn't catch a cold-

-oh. Oh, she's in deep. Her face flushes as she realizes what she casually decided she'd do for a little piece of mind. But it's also been long enough since she offered in the first place that an astute observer wouldn't think to associate it with the earlier comment... oops.]

I'm glad you said it. Later... um, later--I want to hear about what happened for you. If you're okay sharing it. If not, or if you need some time, I--I understand. I totally understand. [She exhales.] But I want to do better when there's something I think I should talk about. For me and for you. But, um...

[She smiles a little more.] ...Right now, I think we both need something else.

[Then--then she catches the mischief in her smile, the playfulness in her voice, and it's a relief to see that look on Lisa's face. But it also makes her turn a brighter shade of red, and it gets a laugh out of her that has more happiness than in awhile. And when she looks to the side, briefly, it's not because she's ashamed. She's just embarrassed, in a good way.] Well...

[She looks back at her girlfriend, and she tries to not think about the way her heart's pounding in her chest. It's a good thing, though. She hasn't felt like that in weeks. She's trying to logic it out, and that's not really working. She already made her choice: if she's told to pick, she picks Lisa. So after a moment's hesitation, she reaches her hand up, resting her fingers on Lisa's cheek.]

It was lonely and cold in the Disturbance, and I'm not alone here. And I feel warm whenever I'm with you. S-So, ah... [Her cheeks feel like they're on fire, now.] ...I-I want to stay with you tonight. And I don't just want to fall asleep next to you.

[There's a brief pause, while she's looking into Lisa's eyes. Junna's lip trembles. Then... she promptly ruins the smoothness by blurting out:] I-i-if that's okay, if I misunderstood the situation it's fine, r-really! W-We can just have separate cold showers and I-I'll sleep on the floor!

[Sorry, Lisa, even after facing her despair manifested in a dream space, she's still kind of a mess.]

I'll tell you, yeah. I need to. I'm... not sure I want to, but I definitely need to, and it'll help me get my thoughts about everything in order. And you're right - it'll be hard for us if we're not willing to talk to each other about the messy stuff. Definitely later, though.

[She's happy that being a little silly - a little forward, a little more willing to reach for what she wants - can make Junna happy. She'll take as much of that as she can get right now. Then Junna pulls out the time-honored Uno reverse card and cranks Lisa's request up to twelve, and the hand on her cheek will be able to feel her face turn cherry red, screaming internally. This is what she wanted! This is exactly what she wanted! But having her desires repeated back to her like this is going to drive her crazy! Once again, her wonderful, understanding actress girlfriend is putting on a show with her and she's feeling woefully underpracticed! So she starts to nod, too embarrassed to form words at the moment, before Junna seems to... catch herself, and backpedal halfway out of the city. Lisa blinks, but after a second, she can't help herself: she laughs brightly, reaching out to grab her girlfriend's cheeks and hold her attention. If they're still on the same wavelength for something like this, they'll be okay.]

Stop! Stop, stop, Junna! You- you were right the first time! I'm way too self-conscious to say it out loud, and I didn't want to sound super needy, but... yeah. That's what I was hoping for. [Her eyes are sparkling, with affection and amusement both.] You are so cute when you get flustered, though, I hope you know. [She lets out a breath, shaking her head gently.] But... I understand. Not being able to call you and hear your voice sucked more than I thought it would. So. Yes, please stay with me tonight. I'll be right here to keep you warm and safe.

[Just to make absolutely clear. No room for doubt. No misunderstanding.]

Later. [Junna agrees, with a smile. She doesn't want to put that off for too long, but right now -- right now, they need to let themselves be happy.

Oh, except Junna's about to have a full on nervous meltdown, and her mouth is opening and she is absolutely about to ramble more in Lisa's general direction. About nothing. But then her brain short circuits -- mercifully cutting off her backpedaling -- when Lisa's hands rest on her cheeks. She sputters a little when Lisa laughs, but then she smiles at what she says.

And she laughs, too, her eyes meeting Lisa's. And she puts one hand over one of Lisa's hands, on her cheek.] I'm cute when I'm flustered? That's so unfair to point out. [She calms down, though, her smile softening, and she nods her head back. Not being able to talk, not being able to see each other. There's the little, traitorous thought that she caused Lisa that hurt--but she banishes it.] I-I'm glad. I'm really glad.

[Then, she closes her eyes and leans forward. She puts one hand on Lisa's cheek, then leans the rest of the way in to kiss her.]

Edited 2025-03-07 22:33 (UTC)

[The cheer is infectious; admittedly Lisa's just happy she's convinced Junna to stay, purely because it means both of them will be able to sleep tonight. Sure, they can talk until they do fall asleep, but... even if she's out like a light, it'll be okay. Zero regrets.]

You're always cute, of course. But I call 'em as I see 'em. [She shakes her head, though, and grins back, letting Junna go. Which may have been an invitation, as Junna leans in, and... while part of her is still a little uneasy, she's pretty sure they're okay now. Not perfect - they have a long way to go before Lisa will be confident nothing is broken and they can go on like they were - but for the moment, Junna feels safe with her, and Lisa doesn't want to keep punishing herself for something that, outside the Disturbance that was making her nothing but depressed, doesn't seem as big as deal as she might have been making of it? They'll talk things over, both of them will go work with the therapists they likely both have now, and it'll... it'll be okay. It will be okay, right?

Lisa closes her eyes, closes the gap, and tries her best to burn the memory of Junna's lips into her mind again, wrapping her arms back around her girlfriend. She wants to stockpile as many happy memories as she can get. The moment won't last very long, as late as it is, but she's learning again that every second is precious.]

Edited (HTML fail) 2025-03-08 02:04 (UTC)

[However long it lasts, Junna's grateful for it. There's a lot of ways she feared this could go; there's a few ways that she hoped this could go. She didn't expect this, but... this feels like a great outcome. There's more for them to work on, more for them to talk about, but that's a good thing in its own way. They have more ahead of them, and when she came worried she had pushed Lisa away, that's all Junna hoped for. Being close with her for a night, though, is more wonderful than she expected.

And, unsurprisingly, she sleeps soundly in the end. And, for once, she sleeps late too. It's already nearly 10:00 in the morning when she wakes up -- not that she sees a clock. Her green eyes blink open, and she feels more rested and less tense than she has in weeks. Since Christmas, probably. Even if, well, some things are new. Like--

Oh.

Like the fact she has her arm around Lisa's bare shoulders, and her forehead is against the back of her head. Junna starts to turn red in the cheeks at that, shifts a little, and pulls the covers up around them both. Then, with a moment's hesitation, she leans over and kisses Lisa on the shoulder. And waits a second, to see if she stirs.

But she's starting to get a silly smile on her face. Did she really--did they really...? The Disturbance, for the first time in almost a month, isn't even on her mind.]

[Lisa doesn't even remember falling asleep last night, as morning comes and begins to go. Doesn't remember waking up with little-n nightmares, either, which is... new, for the last little while. She's just... warm, and comfortable, and refreshed, as she vaguely recognizes something's shifting, but she doesn't want to wake up yet. Five more minutes... or maybe an hour, it's just so peaceful...

...that wasn't her moving the sheets, though? What did she...?

Last night comes back to her at about the same time as she feels an increasingly-familiar pair of lips on her shoulder, and she shivers, stirring but not quite coming to yet. That's. That's definitely Junna behind her; she realizes this makes her the little spoon and, while that makes perfect sense given their builds, somehow feels... unsatisfying? Maybe they can take turns, she wants to do the holding too. Uh, wait, this isn't what she's supposed to be doing. Junna's clearly more awake than she is, but not so awake she's bothered to get up. So that's... okay. It means she'd been right last night: the two of them would sleep better if they were together than apart.

.....she can't really put off actually getting up much longer, can she?]

Good... [Lisa yawns, careful not to stretch and hit someone as her eyes finally open.] Mm. Good morning to you too, Junna. Did you... sleep okay?

[Her tone is soft and languid; she's going to need a bit longer - or something a bit more startling - to fully wake up. But that's fine with her; she's happy to take all the time she can steal right now.]

[Junna keeps smiling -- she probably won't be able to stop for awhile yet -- and she ends up curling up a little so she can lean her head against Lisa's shoulder. She is a little taller than her. For her, that's delightful; she's normally on the shorter end, and being the tall one is rare. It's a delight.

But realizing Lisa is up, too, means she's coming back to reality enough to have a conversation.] Good morning. I, um. Y-Yes. Great. I slept great.

[Lisa's idea about what would make sure they slept well was completely on point. Her voice is soft, too; she's a little more awake, but she always awoke quickly. And the smile is practically evident in her tone of voice, even if Lisa isn't looking right at her.]

What about you? That--um. [She laughs, and it's not embarrassed or forced.] That was really... um. Wow.

[Her command of language is lacking at the moment.]

[If Junna's in a good mood, Lisa's not going to complain, and the young woman continuing to make herself comfortable on her shoulder is... surprisingly reaffirming. Also adorable. Even if she knows better, though, something about the way Junna's talking...]

You make it sound like I did something. But... mm. I slept pretty well too. [Clock... eh, can't see it, but. Light in the room-] Not as long as I thought.

[There is a difference between being a morning person that's up early for her 6 AM run under normal circumstances because she set an alarm, and being a morning person that's functional relatively quickly after waking up. Lisa is not one of those, and is rapidly finding Junna is. This is... dangerous. Still, she makes no effort whatsoever to actually move, relishing the feelings a little longer. Even through the haze of still being half-asleep, the sensation of skin on skin is enticing.]

I could... get used to this. Shouldn't. Want to, though.

You certainly did do something. [That gets a laugh out of Junna. And she gently pokes Lisa in the side to emphasize her point. Poke. Poke!] I'm glad, though.

[It dawns on her that maybe she's a quicker riser than Lisa. Which... that seems like something she should figure out, so she isn't hurrying her out of bed every time she stays over. (Is she staying over more often? Is that a thing they should talk about?) She settles a little, leaning against her and not shifting so much.

There's a soft sigh.] I could too. Ah... [She laughs a little.] ...I think if we both want to, we can figure out a way to make it happen more often.

[She opens her mouth to defend her honor, but before she gets the words out, Junna pokes her side, and Lisa lets out a squeak. Does it again with intent, and she wriggles.]

Mm, noooooo. Tickles.

[Dully, Lisa realizes she's shown a weakness to her girlfriend who is more adventurous than she is, and understands she's doomed herself. But. Maybe Junna will show mercy this time...? Especially since they're managing to discuss plans for the future while she's still trying very hard not to doze off again.]

Want to. I need... need to know you're okay. And... it feels better, too.

Sell yourself short, get tickles. [One more poke from Junna, though she laughs. God, but she really does feel better.] That's the girlfriend pact~

[She pulls her hand back. Then she adjusts a little so she can look at Lisa a little out of the corner of her eyes. Is she playing unfair by talking about this right now? ...no, they're already talking about it. Besides, it's a good conversation to have. So she sighs, and cuddles up more.]

It feels a lot better. I... um. I need to know you're okay too. And this... helps. It's not everything, I know-- [They have therapists for that. And actually talking. But she'd be lying to say she doesn't feel better.]

...Maybe I can stay over like this. And I can... bring Karen-san some... 'I'm sorry I'm crashing at your roommate's house' donuts. Or muffins. Or... energy drinks, you said she's a gamer.

[The one more for the road leaves her hesitating after; somehow, she'd half expected Junna to just keep going to ensure no tension whatsoever this morning. Not that... there's very much now as it is. So after a moment, she relaxes, grinning lazily as she finally gives up and starts to pull herself together. She's not giving that hand back, holding it in one of hers.]

's a weird pact. Need to use that later.

[Because their roles are definitely going to be reversed one of these days. It's not a question. But... Junna's seemingly comfortable, so she's not going to press anything at the moment. A good night's sleep did them both some good. Or just being together for the night. Maybe that second one's more important than she thought it was, thinking about it last night.]

We still... have a lot to talk about, mm. But we'll get there. Let's work on "stable and happy" first. [She puffs out a soft breath.] Anyway. I don't think she'll mind in the short term - and energy drinks, yeah. Her game is hardcore, and P-chan is loud. But I don't know if it's fair to Karen-chan for us to do this all the time. She agreed to take me in, but... not both of us.

Every good pact is a two way street. [Because Junna knows she will absolutely sell herself short. She sighs, happily, and squeezes Lisa's hand. The close contact, in more way than one, is extra nice right now. She keeps leaning against her.

Then she smiles a little bit more.]

Yeah. Stable and happy first. We'll take those conversations one at a time. [She leans over, then, and kisses Lisa on the cheek in a way that Junna hopes is reassuring. And she leans against Lisa, after, head resting against her girlfriend's. She considers what she says, and she nods]

Mm. Right. It wouldn't be fair if I'm always over. So... I need to move out by summer, from the dorms. So I can find an apartment or some place to stay, and... we can take turns with who stays over?

Edited 2025-03-08 17:21 (UTC)

Sure. Just... don't let me weasel out of telling you things. [She knows she'll absolutely let herself be distracted from the dialogue that must occur, if she thinks it'll be bad for Junna. Bad for her is fine, since the original subject matter already was, but. Eh. The kiss on the cheek tells her she's making the right decision, at least, and she lets it go. Especially when a solution to the other problem pops into her head and... hmm. This is about to stop being a light morning topic, isn't it.]

But I still don't want to bring a girl back to Karen-chan's apartment all the time. It... well, it might reflect badly on her, for one thing, but I just- um, it feels wrong? This was never going to be a permanent arrangement anyway, I just... [She grips Junna's hand tight, not quite trusting herself to look at her, face coloring a little.] I said then, but I needed something to fill the silence. Someone. I couldn't ask you then, you were in the dorms, and I was already in the middle of packing when you got that call back in the fall, and... well, we weren't really close enough then. Yeah, we had our first kiss that day, but it would have been weird.

[Lisa fidgets a little, face red, eyes shimmering.] I woke up in your arms this morning, in my bed. We're talking about splitting time between each others' apartments because it makes us more comfortable. I don't know if it's a weird idea anymore that we get a place. T-together. You- you and I.

[...blush spreading across her shoulders now, even though she has zero regrets about asking, even if Junna says no...]

I won't. And... don't let me do that, either, all right? [Having ran face-first into her Disturbance, Junna has learned something: she needs to talk to people. She needs to make sure she uses the support network that she built up. Especially since she isn't sure how things will shape up with her parents. But...

No, there's a bigger question at hand. At first, Junna looks a little disappointed -- this was so nice and the idea it might have to stop... hurts. But, Lisa's explaining more. So she stops and listens, and she squeezes her hand back when Lisa does that. Her eyes widen a little; in the past, it would have been weird. Way too fast. Unthinkable. Now--

Now, it makes a lot of sense. Junna starts to flush, turning red, but she doesn't look away. Given that they're leaning on each other and a little tangled up, it'd be hard for her to. But she doesn't want to.]

I-I... well... [She looks shy.] ...I think it makes a lot of sense. If we got a place together. I want more nights like last night and mornings like this. And... whatever the future holds, I want to go towards it with you. [And with that she turns bright red and promptly buries her face against Lisa's neck before she actually melts down.]

[Lisa murmurs her agreement to Junna's request; they'd agreed it before, that they had to talk to each other, but it's good to see she still remembers it the next morning. Both of them do.

But alas, Lisa's mouth marches on, as she proposes an idea that will shape their relationship and their future. Their positions make it hard for her to look at Junna's face and see what she's thinking consistently - that, and the problem that she doesn't know where to look when she can, this is new and she's trying to stay focused - so for the moment, all she has is the hand in hers and the little movements she can feel against her back. The slight shrink when she admits she doesn't think they can do this forever here. The way she stills and grips her hand back, when she starts to explain her thought process. How her heart races when Lisa gets to the point, followed by a rush of heat. And she lets out a sigh of relief when she hears the reply, feels Junna's warm face nestled into her neck; folds her opposite arm across to put a hand atop her head.]

I know you said it last night, but I didn't want to push my luck, you know? But... okay. We'll- we'll plan for that, then. [She huffs out a breath.] So I'll go back to the apartment-hunting mines in a week or two. Because I want that too. I want to wake up with you to face the day. I want to celebrate with you. I want... I want to build our home. It's just you and I right now, but... we'll make a place for ourselves.

[Her expression is bright, but there's no way she can hide from Junna, who can feel her heart pounding. She's excited, but she's anxious - she knows it's going to be hard, they don't have money, they don't have jobs besides Dreaming, they won't be able to hide anymore. But she wants, from the bottom of her heart, to make it work. Wanting... might not be enough, but she has to try. She's going to try.]

I-I know. But... I'm glad you said so. It's what I want, too, and holding back constantly would eat me up inside. [It's really the same vein of what she said, last night. Pretending to be someone and something she isn't wouldn't be good for her. She hugs onto Lisa a little tighter, then. And Lisa can feel her nod, against her.

She laughs a little.] I'll help, too. I'm good at doing that sort of thing. Once I graduate, and... you know. We can look for a place together. And... figure out the other sides of it. [They can get some money working with the Dreamer Union, Junna thinks. Plus there might be part-time jobs or financial aid, when she goes to university, and--

And she's getting ahead of herself. One thing at a time. She leans back against Lisa, and sighs. Her eyes close, but she smiles. Maybe Lisa can't see that; she can hear how happy she sounds, though. Relaxed and not nearly as tense as recently.]

...thanks, Lisa. [Her voice is quieter. But it's no less warm; and Junna feels warm in a way she hasn't since before the Disturbance. Even if there's uncertainty, and many questions, and everything else that she still has to figure out, there's a sense that there's a path forward and it looks bright now. In a real, tangible way.] For... um. For last night, this morning, all of this. I... I wasn't sure, after everything that happened, what would happen. Where my life would be heading. You picked me up from that.

I love you.

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