OPEN ✿ June Catch-All

[hanamane]

⭐ Who: Amane and YOU
⭐ When: Throughout June
⭐ Where: Moon Bunny Market (namely @ Camellia), Riverwalk Theater, Dream Sphere (Slumbering City and N E W L O C A T I O N)
⭐ What: PLANT GAYS, Kaiju movies, Hanako being sulky about missing Dreamer-versary things and a Completely Normal Dreamer bonding trip gone horribly, terribly wrong
⭐ Warnings: Possible mentions of chronic illness in meta text, spiders, Dream Sphere death by miasma poisoning; will update with top-levels and further warnings if need be!

Comments

[hanamane]

[Unfortunately for Shinsha, Amane picked up on that response of theirs, and he can't help but tilt his head in utter bafflement. Did he hear that correctly?]

... you're allergic to jocks?

[Was this... was this a joke on Shinsha's end?? Did they even MAKE jokes?? Or was that answer actually in earnest? The only context Amane really knew about testosterone was macho manly guys and body builders because Japanese health education is awful, so his mind didn't quite make the connection to it being an endocrine issue instead. Of course, with Shinsha's feminine school uniform and masculine way of talking, Amane was already... sort of aware of something going on with them, but he figured it was just a gender expression thing. After all, Yumemigaoka was a pretty progressive place, and while he wasn't all that familiar with all the types of flags and identities out there, he was at least sort of semi conscious that the binary wasn't quite a binary for some folks.

... well, he'll figure out what they meant by that later. Amane grabs another handful of popcorn and unwittingly mirrors Shinsha's slump into their seat, pulling up the hood of his Teki Terra hoodie so he looks like a small, squishier version of the famous kaiju. Of all the things he thought he'd be doing at this screening today, he didn't think "bonding and talking around his chronic health issues with Cinnabun" was going to be one of them.]

Yeah... or they feel bad that you're sneezing all the time and call you "that poor allergy guy", but it's not like your whole life revolves around how much pollen hates you. It's just... something you gotta live with, that others don't.

[There's something about the whole thing that's bugging him though, and he chews at it in his head (along with his popcorn) until, finally:]

Why would your family keep insisting you're sick, though? The, uh-- the allergy medication gets expensive after a while, doesn't it? Wouldn't they be happy to not have to pay for it?

[hgs]

It's... complicated.

[They sense that Amane understands, though, at least on some level. Shinsha doesn't want to be "that poor allergy guy" or "that poor guy who looks like a girl." They don't want have to think about their gender at all most of the time. Amane probably doesn't want to think about his handful of pills, either.]

Um... it's like...

[They struggle for a metaphor, since speaking directly is obviously out of the question.]

...My allergies aren't really that bad at all, but they're so embarrassed to have a grandchild who sneezes sometimes that they won't even allow me to live with them. They want me to take the kind of allergy medicine that would make me sleepy all the time, even though I hate it.

[Shinsha looks away and fusses anxiously with their Teki-Terra plushes. What Amane he has the sort of condition that can't be easily fixed with medication? What if his parents struggle to afford all of his pills? He must think they're a spoiled, stubborn brat who's complaining about not being sick while shunning a family who only wants the best for them...]

[hanamane]

[No, Amane definitely doesn't want to think about those handful of pills of his. And in those stretches of time within the Dream Sphere, those hours and days that aren't all that long in the real world, he doesn't have to-- those brief and glorious respites from reality were a blessing. He wasn't "that poor allergy guy" there... he was just a Dreamer, just like everyone else. Could anyone really blame him for wanting to keep those parts of his life separate?

And while it's true that Amane's condition couldn't be easily fixed with just medication alone, and part of his Dreamer pay has been going to helping foot those bills... that's not what rubs him the wrong way about what Shinsha had said. Granted, it was hard to tell what exactly was going on, what with these two refusing to be straight forward about sensitive subjects, but if he was understanding things right...]

So they kicked you out because you don't want to take a medication you don't even need? [Yeah, he's... actually a little quietly upset on your behalf right now, Shinsha, because what the fuck.] They should be grateful that you're just sneezing and not-- I dunno, having an asthma attack every time the season changes or something.

[It's no wonder Cinnabar was so grouchy in the Dream Sphere-- if Amane had to deal with something like that growing up, he wouldn't want to deal with others either. He picks through his popcorn idly, his free arm hugging his own Teki-Terra plushies closer to his stomach as he adds, in a mumble:]

I mean... I know my family would, at least.

[hgs]

[Shinsha has only met Amane's parents and brother in passing at their shop, but they seem warm and caring... the way a family should be. But Shinsha has been in the foster care system long enough to know that it's not the way a lot of families are, and that wishing for things to be the way they should only leads to disappointment.]

I'm sure they think they're doing what's right for me.

[They shrug. Any resentment they once held towards their family is long gone, replaced by resigned acceptance. Their grandparents give them enough of an allowance to pay for basic living expenses, and for that (if nothing else), Shinsha is grateful.

They reach for a handful of popcorn, not because they particularly enjoy the taste (it's far too sweet) but because it will hide their awkward fidgeting.]

They're just... wrong about a lot of things.

[hanamane]

[Shinsha wasn't exactly wrong about their assessment of Amane's family-- as far as other families go, they were definitely the loving and supportive sort-- but they had their own cracks and flaws as well. And who wouldn't, with the stress of dealing with one chronically ill child from an early age, and the shock of temporarily losing the other? Even Amane's current run as a Dreamer (and all the risks that came with it) was something of a strain on them, though they were loathe to discourage him from something that was making him happy. No child likes to be the source of their parents' suffering, even indirectly, and despite their reassurances otherwise, Amane knew they'd probably be happier if he was as normal as his namesake.

But there was nothing he could about it himself, aside from following along with the doctor's orders and doing whatever they told him to, results be damned. So, in a way, he sort of gets Shinsha's resigned attitude towards all of this, despite his own indignation over what they've done. At some point, the hate and distaste one has for these things, be it terrible families or constant treatments, become too exhausting to bear, so one just... begrudgingly accepts it and moves on. What else could they do?

Amane automatically angles the popcorn towards Shinsha as they reach for more, waiting until they got their fill before going back for a little more himself. There's no real point insisting on how awful Shinsha's family is when they already seemed to learn to live with it, so... maybe it was best to pivot the topic a little. It had shed a bit of a new light on something he had been curious about earlier...]

So... that Sensei you talked about before, the one who painted all those buildings for you... I guess they were they okay with your allergies? They must've been a pretty cool person if they went out of their way to do that for a sneezy kid.

[Not that he was sure this Sensei of theirs was an actual teacher or someone who had just looked out for them, but clearly they seemed to have stepped in a little where Shinsha's family didn't.]

[hgs]

[Shinsha can't help but smile to themself when thinking about Sensei. Even though the man is tall enough and broad enough to be a pro wrestler, he's the kindest person they've ever met. He's the one who taught Shinsha the names of all the plants and insects in the nearby fields, and he's the one who taught them to empathize with movie monsters when they felt like a monster themself. But...]

Kongou-sensei is the head monk at the temple that sponsors the group home I grew up in. He doesn't mind my... allergies. But he's responsible for so many other kids who need him more than I do...

[As kind as Sensei is, there's only one of him... and he's a monk, so when faced with difficult situations, it's in his nature to be serene, accepting and detached. Shinsha has never seen him upset, and whenever there's a faint look of sadness in his eyes, he meditates until it's gone. He's fond of saying that while people may not be able to easily change their situations, they can always change their perceptions.]

...And there are things he just doesn't understand.

[hanamane]

[... whoa. THAT was unexpected. Seeing Shinsha smile, even if to themselves, was like seeing a baby bunny poke it's head out of it's burrowing hole, rare and somewhat endearing. Amane didn't even think they could smile, honestly-- though maybe the likelihood of him seeing it would have probably been higher if he wasn't such a pain to Cinnabun over in the Dream Sphere. That alone spoke volumes of how precious this Kongou-sensei was to them, more than words ever could.

Though that explanation of theirs... it brought up a whole slew of other questions in his mind, questions that he wasn't even sure he should bring up if he wanted to respect Shinsha's privacy and not tread on ground that he shouldn't. But there is one part that stands out the most to him, and it comes out before he can stop himself from saying it.]

... like how to actually live with these allergies, you mean? It's one thing to be sympathetic and considerate about it, but... no one really knows how hard it is to deal with these things day to day unless they've been through it themselves.

[... wait, crap. Was he projecting again? Shinsha even said that Kongou was fine with their illness, but years of people giving Amane well-meaning but naive advice on how to deal with his own health issues made his mind immediately jump to that conclusion. Maybe he should backtrack, for both of their sakes--]

Or... a-at least, I think so, anyway. Maybe it was different with your Sensei, instead?