yumemigaoka | ★ wanna crack the code, her spell is so mysterious

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★ wanna crack the code, her spell is so mysterious

⭐ Who: Ai and you!
⭐ When: End of July through August
⭐ Where: Various prompts around Yumemigaoka and the Dream Sphere
⭐ What: August Ai catchall! With things in the Dream Sphere officially getting Weird, Ai's doing her best to investigate like a good Experienced Dreamer while keeping up with her duties as a Mentor and as an idol. I'm also down for doing closed/private prompts so hit me up on Discord if you'd like to plan something!

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[ No matter how busy she is, Ai always has time for her trainees - even the ones who aren't technically her trainees anymore. And sure, her niggling worries might have more to do with her knowing Amane as honorary aunt Hoshino Ai than they do as Hanako's former mentor Dreamer Ai-Doll, but they say something about prevention being better than cure and... well, if she's honest, she doesn't quite know if this is a thing she'd be able to pry out of Amane in reality. Hanako might be a face that he only puts on in the Dream Sphere but in a lot of ways, he's more honest than Amane ever allows himself to be.

Not that she's starting off on such a heavy note, of course. As they make their way across the pale white bridge that leads into the Stardust Sanctuary, Ai-Doll is keeping her tone breezy and light. ]

So are there any real constellations in the sky here? Or just ones someone dreamed up?

[Amane, on the other hand, is utterly clueless about the real reason Ai had brought him out here today-- though with everything going on lately inside and outside the Dream Sphere, he was just happy to have a reason to spend time with her in general. And while he was definitely more honest about himself while he was Hanako, there were still some things he had to tamper down and hide, for fear of people making a connection back in the Waking World. Of course, he didn't need to do that while he was around Ai-- if anything, she was probably the only person here who truly knew all sides of him, from the good, the mischievous, and the nerdy.

And speaking of nerdy-- he can't help but skip across that bridge excitedly, his eyes sparkling like the stars above. He couldn't fully let put his fanboy-ish glee for the place when they first discovered it, but, now, with nobody else but Ai around--]

Oh there's definitely real ones here! I've already seen Gemini, and Scorpius... and that's Cygnus over there, too! [He laughs a bit delightedly, before continuing:] Though you can't actually see these all at once in a real night sky, so there's gotta be some dream stuff going on here, I think.

[He spins a little in place, his expression getting just a bit dreamy as he muses to himself. From the looks of him, you wouldn't think they were there for a Torment Hunt of all things...]

Aaaah... I really wish I could bring my telescope here... I wonder how well you can see deep space objects with a sky like this...

[LIKE I SAID... HUGE NERD]

So the person who dreamed this up was probably a bit of a kindred spirit for you, huh, Hanako-kun?

[ She lets that breeze past too, trotting along behind Hanako as he dashes ahead. Her smile is pleasant but vague – and exceptionally hard to read above all else. If she has any ulterior motive here (and rest assured, she definitely does) then it's impossible to guess what it might be.

Even if he won't admit it to her, she's sure he must be longing for somebody like that – someone to call a friend, to chat with at school and spend time with in the real world. And if she can find some way of poking and prodding out of him just why he's so firm about hiding himself away she can figure out a way to fix it.

Baby steps, though. ]

Maybe we'll put a bug in someone's ear back on the other side about seeing if we can't come up with something like that. They made Stabilizers, didn't they? I bet with a little hard work, we could come up with a way to show off the Dream Sphere to everybody back home.

[Hanako pauses for a moment in his frolicking at her breezy question, his round eyes glancing over in Ai-Doll's direction briefly before casting them up at the vast, vast sky up above. His own smile, bright and excited before, dims just slightly into something more unreadable as he folds his arms around his back and studies that starry expanse, that simple query of hers holding more weight than it might seem.]

Mmm... well, maybe. They definitely seem to know their stuff, at least. Shame we don't really know who's responsible for the dreams we step into sometimes, y'know?

[Though, of course, there's no way to know whether this particular dreamer lived in Yumemigaoka or not... or even if they were anywhere near Amane's age to begin with. For all they knew, it could have been a little old lady who came up with this sort of nightscape! But still... somebody who dreamed up this beautiful scenery and held the same passion for astronomy... he wouldn't exactly have minded meeting them, if he had the chance. It's not like he really had anyone to talk to about this sort of thing, after all...

While Ai had probably intended that last bit as something to get Amane excited, though, it seems to have something of an opposite effect-- he turns his eyes back over towards her and tilts his head a bit dubiously. While the idea of maybe getting the DU development team to finally make some telescopes was tempting...]

You think they'd be able to do it that quickly, though...? I mean... we waited this long for Stabilizers, so cameras and that sorta stuff would probably take another fifty years at this rate. [But then something occurs to him, and he brings over a hand from behind his back to tap at his chin a little.] Although... it would be kinda neat if it means they could update the stuff in the Museum. That stuff is way off the mark, it's not even funny.

[But perhaps it's just the disillusionment of seeing these things after actually experiencing the Dream Sphere that's coloring his opinion here!]

You really think so? I always thought they were pretty neat. Especially that little set of the Vale, with all the different water levels... I bet getting that to work was tough!

[ She's still smiling as she watches him go on ahead. It's not often she sees this much of Amane peek out of Hanako's face. She wonders if it ever happens around any of the others and exactly what they might think when it does – it probably makes him come off as temperamental and unpredictable which might serve his purposes for Hanako well enough but she worries that it makes him off putting, unapproachable. If anyone knows how much of a relief it can be to have an outlet like that, a different face you can wear where nobody has any expectations of you, it'd be her.

But it's one thing for a grown up like her to do that – or at least, someone playing around in the dirty, grown up world she's occupied since she was even younger than Amane. When you're so small and defenceless, a shield is necessary.

Amane, at least, should still get to enjoy being a child even if he only has a few more years of it to go. ]

Maybe we'll get lucky and someone will have a breakthrough, though. Isn't that how inventions happen, sometimes? Somebody just happens to get a really clever idea and it ends up working. You never know.

[ She picks up her pace a little just so she can catch up and give Hanako's hair a little ruffle. ]

Or maybe you could drop by and let them know they need an update! First hand accounts are all they have to go off, right?

Hmm... it's not really as easy as that-- there's the whole scientific process, too. They still need to test it out and see how and why it works exactly before going forward with it, and that takes time. What works once might not always work the same way afterwards, and that could cause problems later down the line.

[Not that Amane's really a science expert, per se (far from it, really), but being as obsessed with space and astronomy as he is, he at least knew a thing or two about how some of these inventions and discoveries were made. Though the fact that he was even speaking this candidly about this sort of stuff right now was a sign of how much he was letting his mask slip, maybe even more so than usual-- was the scenery coaxing it out of him? Or maybe the fact that he finally was getting to spend some time with Ai again? (That... y'know, didn't involve him breaking down into tears over some trauma or another that the Dream Sphere jostled out of him, anyway--) Either way, it was a little bit of a relief; he felt happier as Dreamer Hanako, and more free, but sometimes it felt nice to talk about things he enjoyed without worrying about giving himself away too much.

He leans into that hair ruffle of hers, though, making to wrap his arms around her waist and smooshing his cheek against her shoulder. It was rather akin to a child clinging onto their mother during a walk, and while he was getting almost a little too old to be pulling those sort of stunts (they were practically the same height these days!!)-- well, he didn't exactly care. At least, not now, anyway, considering there was nobody around to question it.

That said, he can't help but shoot her a wry look at that suggestion-- or as wry as a look as he can give her while pressed against her shoulder, that is.]

... I think you're forgetting I'm not exactly telling other people who I am in the Waking World, though. I'm sure there's other Dreamers out there more than happy to come forward and tell them how inaccurate their Fury Peak displays are, but it's not gonna be me.

Oh, are you really that strict about it still? I knew you still weren't telling your classmates, but I didn't think the people over at the museum would be off limits too.

[ She says it perfectly innocently – not playing dumb too egregiously, just to make sure she doesn't show her hand too early. Maybe it makes her a horrible adult for approaching a talk with a child this way, but Amane's too much like her – if he knows too early she's trying to crowbar some vulnerability out of him then he'll turtle up and it'll be impossible to have a proper talk. So she has to play her cards right. Really, it's for his own good. Or so she tells herself.

The hair ruffle turns into a patented Hoshino Ai Headpat and she gives him her sweetest smile. ]

I guess if you've kept it a secret all this long you'd want to make sure nobody else got to spread it for you. I can understand that. But...

[ Her expression turns thoughtful – maybe even a little worried. ]

Are you sure it's not hard, juggling a bunch of secrets like that? I remember how stressful it was when I was only a little bit younger than you. ... then again, you've already got a better head in your shoulders than I did back then.

[ Another hair ruffle! ]

[... why does this feel like he's walking into a trap all of a sudden?? Maybe he was overthinking things too much, but Ai felt... maybe a little more indulgent to his antics than usual? Not that he particularly minded, and he was admittedly being a bit more clingy than he normally was too, but... something did feel a little off here. It felt suspiciously like the times as a kid where his parents would be extra sweet with him, extra attentive, before gently dropping a bomb on him-- more surgeries, longer hospital stays, cancelled trips on his behalf. After all, why would be Ai asking about his identity stuff now, after all this time?

Hopefully he was wrong... but he was going to tread lightly from here, not letting his suspicions show upon his face as he soaks in those headpats and hair ruffles like a contented cat.]

Well... sure. I don't want random strangers knowing who I am, either. I tell one person, they wind up telling other people involved in Dreamer circles, and it all goes south from there. After all, I'm your former trainee, and once people connect this handsome face with Dreamer Ai-Doll's prodigy student, I'd never get left alone!

[HANDSOME IS A BIT OF A STRETCH, HANAKO..... as well as most of what just came out of his mouth, really. Not that he was entirely serious about what he said, of course-- as far as he knew, their connection wasn't a widely advertised one, but he preferred it that way. If people started connecting the dots between the two of them and where he family lived, there would be an even greater secret at risk than just his identity.

His face goes blithely unreadable as he focuses on the floating island ahead of them, however, his genuine cheerfulness earlier replaced by the indifferently smiling mask he liked to fall back on when talking about anything remotely difficult.]

It's fine, though. I mean... it's not like I talk with a lot of people outside the Dream Sphere anyway, so it makes keeping quiet about it easier, at least. [And said so casually too........] Ah... though there have been a lot more Dreamers stopping by Camellia lately, which has been kinda annoying...

[Bad enough he has to dodge them while going about his daily life, but in his own home too??? THE WORST]

I guess Hanako-kun's becoming a celebrity in his own right too, huh?

[ She says that teasingly, almost disarmingly so, just enough to almost seem like she might be letting him off the hook. Again, she feels a creeping sense of guilt up through her throat for approaching a conversation with a boy like Amane like this – like she has to plan her moves in advance and catch him out to get what she wants to say across. She's never been good with her own feelings, let alone anyone else's, and treating the whole game of getting along with other humans as something she could win or lose at had served her better when she was younger and making her way through the entertainment industry but–

But this is Amane, isn't it? He's just as much a part of her family as Aqua or Ruby or Miyako. If she can't at least try to be honest with him then what hope is there for her?

The rhythmic tap of her heels picks up in pace as Ai, too, moves to catch up with him. ]

... Amane-kun. [ Her voice has gone gentle. A little firm still, yes, but... ] If I tell you that I'm worried about you... you're not going to try and run away, are you?

Ah ha... maybe so! Next thing you know, they'll have me starring in manga where I'm fighting ghosts, just like Dreamer Crimson!

[Though the moment that leaves his lips, he immediately regrets it, his smile dimming slightly in the luminescent light all around them. Idiot... why did he say that? Now he was thinking of Shinsha all over again, and that was the last thing he had wanted to do while trying to hang out with Ai-senpai. And here he thought he was doing such a good job getting it off of his mind before that, too...

Amane's so distracted by that unintentional slip-up that he doesn't even realize Ai had caught up to him until she calls out his name, getting him to stop right in his tracks. It takes him a moment to school his face back to it's bright, carefree smile, pointedly ignoring the dreaded drop in his stomach at her words as he keeps his tone light and unaffected.]

... worried? About what? Dreamer stuff? I like to think I've gotten a bit steadier on my feet since the last time we talked about it, right?

[... well, maybe if they didn't count the Tanabata thing... and the Crimson Excursion... though the latter went sort of poorly for everyone involved, so he didn't take that as badly as he normally would have. Somehow he had a feeling this probably wasn't related to that, though...]

[ In contrast to Amane's smile, Ai's expression is a little more grave. It's not angry or serious, but... well, she's not smiling at all which on Hoshino Ai is a pretty big red flag. ]

No. I'm worried because you're lonely and you're pretending you prefer it that way.

[ Said like that, so plainly and into the dimly lit quiet of the Sanctuary, Ai's words almost seem to land with a thud.

She doesn't bother sugarcoating or softening them. She has a feeling Amane has gotten a little too good at dancing around things he doesn't want to talk about and the more room she gives him to do that, the less headway she'll make with this talk. The only way she'll be able to get him to actually engage with her – and maybe listen, god forbid – is if she doesn't leave any room for ambiguity whatsoever.

It makes her feel itchy and uncomfortable. Like she's bullying him, almost. But isn't backing off out of a fear of hurt feelings the thing that's been holding Amane back all this time? ]

We both know you aren't happy like this.

[Oh no. Oh God. Ai not smiling was a bad sign-- a very bad sign. This was even worse than he thought--

And then her words, as simple and straight-forward as they were, hit him with all the grace and force of a cannonball, and the smile on Amane's own face begins to flicker and falter as he strains to keep it in place.]

... w-what? I'm not--

[But then he stops himself, because... no, he can't even fake his way out of this one, can he? Not after Ai had seen those visions of his during Tanabata, seen how badly those innocent enough images had shaken him to his core that night. He couldn't just say he was fine, when the very idea of him hanging out with friends like a normal, healthy kid left him a sobbing wreck.

Ai was much too keen for that. And these days, Amane seemed to be doing nothing but underestimating how the people around him really perceived him.

He finally lets his expression drop, snapping the strings to this whole ruse as his smile becomes a bit more subdued and almost a bit cynical. It's not a side he likes to show to someone like Ai, who'd been nothing but a family figure to him, but... in a way, he thinks she might understand it, somehow.]

... so what if I am? There's not exactly much I can do about it, anyway. No one really wants to hang around with some gloomy ol' sick kid who can barely keep up with them.

[Despite his flippant tone, the words still feel bitter on his tongue, like a long dormant venom within finally seeping out by admitting this much. But it was the truth wasn't it? He hated it, but that was just the reality he had to get accustomed to growing up. People weren't going to wait around for sad, lonely Amane to catch up. They were going to move on, without him, like he had never existed.]

Is it really so bad not to have people know that side of me?

[ Again, that feeling that she's being cruel here swells in her throat, almost strong enough to silence her. She's purposely poking and prodding at a wound her - but if it is cruelty, it's the necessary cruelty of healing, the pain of straightening out an injured limb so the bones can set back in the right places.

It doesn't necessarily make her feel any better about it. But leaving it alone is just going to make her feel worse - let alone what it might mean for Amane.

Doing the necessary unpleasantries so you can look out for the kids is what adults are supposed to do. ]

Don't give me a "so what" like it doesn't matter. [ Her tone is gentle; disapproving but not coldly so. Just a little disappointment in hearing Amane being so dismissive of himself. ] If you're unhappy then of course it matters.

[ She closes the distance between them a little more - not enough to make him feel trapped but just so that she can lift her hand and give his hair another gentle ruffle. ]

It's all well and good saying "of course they wouldn't like me" and leaving it at that... but I think that's just turning into the easy way out. You're scared that if you try and they don't like you, it'll hurt even more than being lonely would. Right?

[Well, that's easy for you to say, he thinks, the cynical edge creeping a bit into his thoughts. Everyone loves you. But even in this raw, open state, he knows it would be mean to say it out loud-- and that it's not necessarily true, either. If the world was that adoring and accepting of Ai, in all her entirety, she wouldn't have to hide her children like some dark and shameful secret. Not to mention the nasty things said about her online, nitpicking every inconsequential detail and flaw about her like she wasn't even a human being like the rest of them.

Even so... despite it all, she still manages to smile and dazzle them all so easily, like a bright, vibrant star in a vast, open sky. Didn't this sort of thing bother her? Or was she just that good at masking how she felt? It's a skill he almost envied, in a way.

His shoulders slump a little as she ruffles his hair again, knowing from that disapproving tone that she wasn't going to let him wiggle his way out of this one. It's not like she didn't already mostly hit the nail on the head with her observations, but...]

It's not... entirely that, it's just...

[His fingers interlock and fidget with each other as he struggles to find the way to best explain it-- it's hard putting to words the feelings that had been plaguing him for so long, and being this frank about things like this didn't quite come easily.]

I don't... really want to wind up with their pity either, y'know? There's hardly any in-between with this sort of thing. [At least, not among kids his age, to his knowledge] I don't want people being my friend because they feel bad for me or think I'm some dumb inspirational figure because "I'm a fighter" or something. At least the ones who ignore me are honest.

I don't really have to worry about any of that here. I'm just... me. Can't that be enough?

For some people, it could be. But if it was enough for you, we wouldn't be having this talk.

[ It's been leaking out here and there for months, cracks in a pane of glass bulging and fracturing under the most immense sort of pressure. If Amane was happy with this status quo, if Hanako's antics in the Dream Sphere were soothing his worst aches, then she wouldn't have seen anything at all at Tanabata. There'd be nothing for him to long for.

Jeez. Between him and Aqua, she's got quite the pair of angsty teenage boys to be fretting about, hasn't she?

Ai stoops a little to sit on one of the cool stone walls that runs around the island and gives the spot next to her a pat for Amane to sit down, too. ]

... I know it's hard and it's scary. I mean, even for me, there's still a lot of ugly parts of me nobody else gets to see, because I'm scared of what they'll think. Not just as an idol but as a person, too. Things I think or feel, or things that happened to me when I was small that would change people's minds if they knew them.

[ She tips her head back, looking up at the lovely night sky above. For everything that's wrong and right about it, the Dream Sphere is beautiful above everything else. ]

Knowing you can't always control how other people define you is kind of horrible, isn't it?

[There's a bit of hesitation on Amane's end as Ai motions for him to sit next to her, but after a moment or two, he relents, quietly joining her along the stone wall. Once he's settled, he carefully tips to one side, leaning gently against her while settling his head upon her shoulder. There had been no crying involved this time, thankfully, but he still felt wrung out, all the same-- dredging up these bitter thoughts and emotions he had been so careful to tamper down all this time was exhausting. Not that he was off the hook yet for that, though...

He's silent as he listens to her speak, following her line of sight to the star speckled horizon before them, though for once, his attention is more on her words than the constellations before them. Of course she would know where he was coming from-- her whole life was probably made up of other's assumptions and preconceived notions, on a much larger and riskier scale. It probably made him complaining about it on his end pretty ridiculous, in hindsight.]

... yeah, it is.

[It hits him, then, that he really didn't know much about Ai-- not about her past, her hobbies, the things she enjoyed when she wasn't in spaces that he was around. Did that make him just as bad as the people who put her on a parasocial pedestal? Granted, like recognized like-- and he knew if he were to pry, she would probably wiggle away from a sincere answer with a dexterity that he would envy. But still...

His cheeks flush a little, warming up the spot where it rested upon her shoulder, and he peeks up at her from under his choppy bangs, his fingers fiddling with one of the chains on his uniform self-consciously.]

Though... if it means anything... I would still accept you, messy parts and all.

[A beat, and then, as if to alleviate the emotional vulnerability brought about by that statement:]

... even if you go and trick innocent young boys into talking about their feelings under the guise of a field trip ☆

Sorry, but when innocent young boys make it this hard on me, I have to resort to drastic measures. ☆

[ She says it lightly, teasingly, and lifts a hand to poke his cheek as she does so but her smile's warm. Maybe it's cheating a bit to have that come from Amane – he's known her his whole life and he's as much a part of hers as Aqua and Ruby are. When it comes to accepting her, as much as he means it, does he really have any other choice?

Even if that's the case, though – that uncritical, unconditional sort of acceptance is warm, too. If there's one person in the world who can accept you warts and all then everything else is tolerable. Ai's lucky in that she's got more than one. ]

I just hate the thought of you being sad and lonely. You're probably sick of hearing grown ups say this, but your middle school and high school years really are a special time. I don't want you to grow up and look back and feel like you didn't do enough with it.

[ Even if Amane decides he is going to be a Dreamer full time when he's older... it's easier than working in some office somewhere in a lot of ways, but it's still work. He won't have the same freedoms he has now. And he sure as hell won't be able to click with his coworkers if he doesn't learn how to make friends soon. ]

I'm not asking you to turn into a party animal overnight or anything. Just... be a little less quick to shut everybody out. Please? For me?

[He screws an eye shut as she teasingly pokes his cheek, but he can't help but return her smile with a slightly helpless one of his own. Amane's not exactly proud of the fact that he had worried Ai enough to go to these sorts of lengths, but... it showed that she cared about him, in her own way. (Even if he's still going to be a bit sore about this for a little while yet)

But as she goes ahead and talks about his future, Amane's face grows a bit distant and dim, the vines of something old and unwelcome starting to unfurl within his chest. It was hard to think of how he'd feel when he'd get older, when for the longest time it seemed like sort of thing wasn't necessarily guaranteed. He had his dreams, of course, and his hopes-- even if his condition wouldn't allow him to be an astronaut, he still wanted to work in the space field some day-- but that's all that they were: dreams and hopes. And even with his illness in stable condition these days, there was always the lingering fear that it wouldn't last... and what would be the point of forging all these connections, making all these memories, if it was just going to hurt everyone in the end, himself included?

... but this was a line of thinking that was too dark, too depressing, and frankly too terrifying for him to vocalize to anyone, especially not to Ai. If she was already worried to this extent about him feeling sad and alone, he didn't want to bring up his complex about his mortality and make things even worse. He goes back to picking at one of the crystals on his uniform as he stews on what to say, until finally:]

But... I'm doing enough now, aren't I? Not a lot of kids my age get to say they've been exploring new worlds or fighting monsters or anything like that. I'd probably remember this more fondly than any after school clubs or sports, at least.

[Though he knows, vaguely, that probably isn't what she means by that. After all, doing stuff in the Dream Sphere didn't exactly mean he automatically had friends, at least not to his knowledge. But once Ai makes her final appeal to him, his shoulders slump, heaving out a tired sigh before glancing up at her sulkily once again from beneath his bangs. She really was going to make this hard for him, wasn't she?]

Ugh... that's not fair. You know I can't say no to you.

[Which is about as good as an agreement as any, but he had a feeling she wouldn't let him off the hook unless he actually said it.]

But... I'll try. I can't promise you any miracles, though.

[... meanwhile, there might be something starting to glimmer up in the sky ~~because this is also a Torment Hunt thread technically~~, but... maybe it's nothing???]

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★ wanna crack the code, her spell is so mysterious

August 12th - Torment Hunt (Hanako)

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