yumemigaoka | ★ my genius, flawless idol for life

[he blinks, confused]

Is that... [it had been overwhelming before, when he was in the middle of Mio's distortion so soon after arriving in Yumemigaoka... But he'd been through both Distortions, and if he compares his experiences, maybe that'll help narrow things down. Maybe.

It's all he could think to do at the moment]

All right. [a pause] Oh, should I just submit a report to the DU then?

Mhm! [ And just as quick as it'd gone, her smile's right back. ] Or you can come tell me yourself. If you just pass on a message that you're wanting to talk to me, I'll assume it's about this. I should be able to make some time for you easily.

[ especially for something as potentially important as this. ]

Don't feel like you've gotta go out of your way, obviously! Just... keep an eye out when you're doing your usual rounds, okay?

[oh, that's right, Ai-Doll's an actual idol (ha) in the Waking World, isn't she? He... Might have gotten chewed out by his sister when she was checking up on him one night. "How could you not recognize her?!" and "Is she as pretty in real life as she is on TV?!" among other things that Keiwa may or may not have tuned out or politely declined answering.

He's fiddling with the accessory on his belt again]

Um... [how do people just ask-??] You probably have enough people asking in the Waking World, let alone here in the Dream Sphere but... I wanted to send Nee-chan something for the holidays.

[then he shrinks back a little bit, ears folding down. Nope, Ai-Doll has enough to worry about as it is without people trying to get her autograph in the Dream Sphere] It's probably rude of me to try asking, nevermind...

Sam's doing a thing around then, I'm going to help her with that. Otherwise I'm keeping my ears open, but I haven't heard of much.

[No option to throw one, either -- Zeke has a rather cheap apartment, unsuited for hosting all but maybe one visitor. And of course, one can't wander into Promised Morning looking for parties at his age, that's just creepy.]

Ooh, does it really get that cold up there? Ah, it does always look like it's raining over there when you see it on TV so I guess that explains it...

[ even i can't tell you whether or not this is a bit ]

You must be all prepped for the snow then, huh? [ another cheery laugh. ] I wish I was! I've lived here for more than ten years now and I still get all like "hold on, where'd this come from?" everytime we get some. It just has a way of catching you by surprise, right?

I guess things were a little too crazy the last month or so for anyone to go really hard on party planning...

[ And that's WITHOUT a Disturbance messing things up. Thank basically every god that whoever's been messing around in the Dream Sphere decided to give them all a break for Christmas or Ai never would've gotten anything done. ]

How about New Year? Are you stopping by any shrines?

...does bed count as a shrine?

[YOU NEVER KNOW IT'S BETTER TO ASK THAN ASSUME]

[His celebratory mood dims as he sees the contemplative look on her face, a look that seems to be reserved for Serious Dreamer Business these days. For a moment, he's worried she's going to bring up news of another potential Disturbance-- or worse, something connected to the whole Ango case, which he still hadn't wanted to talk about-- but then she brings up another matter entirely, much to his surprise.]

... hmmm?

[He blinks for a moment, eyes round and pensive, trying to recall the incident from last summer. With everything that had happened over the past few months, it was almost too easy to have let it slip from his mind, but finally--]

Oh... it disconnected, didn't it? That was when the other locations started going all wonky and we had to go and make sure they didn't start drifting off, too.

[AND HE HAD TO FIGHT A FUCKING DRAGON TO BOOT.... although Ange gave him a special shout-out afterwards for all of his troubles, so the effort hadn't been entirely in vain! Still, he can't help but feel like Ai was hinting towards something here, something that he hadn't exactly considered before, and his brow furrows in mild disbelief.]

But... that couldn't have been connected to what happened with Mio-chan, right? That Disturbance of hers popped up after we got everything else anchored down. Unless...

... you think it could have been related, somehow?

I can do that.

[He's not very good at well and truly "acting," as evidenced by the (1) truly awful movie that he starred in that mostly sucked for other reasons. People 100% admit it wasn't his acting that brought the whole thing down, but he definitely didn't improve it. Now, he leaves that stuff to M.

Still, he is a seasoned reality TV star. He knows how to "be himself" while still achieving a specific goal. It's not hard to make sure he works Ai into his conversations with fans and remember to interact with her occasionally. That sort of thing he can make seem authentic.]

You know, when I was younger, my mom took me to see you perform once. I always thought that if I could make people even one bit as happy as you did, I'd be happy too. [Connor looks down at his phone for a moment.] Nobody told me their happiness costs mine.

[This isn't really where he thought he'd be at 19. He thought that he'd be on track to become the principal dancer for a ballet company. Instead, he feels like he barely dances anymore and all he does is what other people tell him.]

Edited (i swear i speak english) 2023-12-30 11:04 (UTC)

[ ... Oh, hold on, that's so sweet? It's one thing for someone to ask on their own behalf but having Keiwa, who seems pretty tuned out from the other side of her career, ask with that guilty look on his face... come on. She's not gonna turn him down. It's Christmas, after all. ]

Heehee, do you want me to sign a few things for her? I don't mind at all. Especially not for a Christmas present.

[ That and... weirdly enough, people usually don't ask, at least not on this side. Maybe they all have the same thoughts that Keiwa does. ]

Do you have anything in particular I should sign? Or will anything do? I can write up a little Christmas card to, if it'd make her happy.

[ Ai's too good at holding a smile when she really doesn't want to for her expression to fall even a bit — but something in her eyes shifts and seems to go a little cold, matching the ice that's just skittered down her spine. It's not like it's the first time she's heard people tell her things like that; of course she hears it all the time from kids of all ages, I wanted to sing because of you, watching you made me want to be an idol, I always dreamed of getting to Awaken and be a Dreamer like you. She hears it and smiles even if she has all manner of less shiny feelings about the idea of someone following in her footsteps but it doesn't usually stop her in her tracks like this.

Maybe it's because none of them have ever said anything that's made her think Ah. Me too.

A bunch of pithy reassurances roll around in her head but she can't manage to make herself voice any of them. Even so, the question that comes out in their place surprises her. ]

Connor-kun... what is it you want to do?

... I wanted to dance. I still do, it's just—they made me choreograph something to your new single. It's for some performance I'm doing on Christmas.

["Wanted," past tense. "Doing on Christmas," as in he is working on Christmas. Things that could probably be chalked up to the fact that he's speaking a second language, but it's one of those things where people keep asking Connor when he sleeps as a joke and his answer keeps getting more and more strained.

Having grown up with cameras as a constant presence in his life, Connor's never understood work/life separation. His life is work, to a certain extent. It's not lost on him that even his teammates do less than he does. That even though he's technically not the leader of his unit, everyone treats him like it.]

Sorry. I shouldn't be complaining. I have what everyone wants, right?

Are you praying to a god of sleep?

[ she doesn't usually dunk on zeke like that but sometimes he really does ask for it a bit ]

I don't know.

[ Which isn't something she loves to say on most days and especially not to one of her trainees. But there's no point in trying to cover up for what she doesn't know right now. ]

But... it's too much of a coincidence, don't you think? Two things we've never seen before happening in the Dream Sphere within months of each other. I don't know if one caused the other or exactly how it all happened but... I can't tell myself it's completely unrelated.

[ She lets out a sigh. ]

The problem is, I just don't know where to start when it comes to trying to put the pieces together.

[ She shouldn't be getting involved in this. Really, she shouldn't. It's so far beyond the scope of her duties at the DU and she can't even really make an excuse for it having anything to do with him as a Dreamer. Even this is probably overstepping a little. His manager probably wouldn't be happy.

On the other hand? Forget all that. What does it even matter? Connor's a kid just like she was. What kind of rotten, useless adult would she be if she washed her hands of him because it wasn't technically her problem? How many rotten, no good adults did the same thing to her when she was even younger than Connor was?

The breath she pulls in is sharp. Almost a little angry. ]

If you can't even complain, what are you supposed to do? Bottle it all up until you just explode?

[ Not that she has any place to talk. ]

If none of this makes you happy at all, then why are you doing it?

[He mostly just retreats into the studio when he's sad and overwhelmed. It's always been that way: dance it out for a few hours and then sleep it off. Complain to his therapist, if he needs to, but never ever let the façade of the lovely, perfect life slip. Even in private, Connor finds it hard.

Why does he do it, though? Connor immediately thinks about the other four members of his unit. He thinks about the opportunities M has had as a trans Latine man that he probably wouldn't if Connor wasn't there to take the brunt of criticism. He thinks about all the fans who have told him that he's the reason they realized they were queer, that he made them feel safe to dress in a specific way, to like things like dance and makeup. He thinks of the people who watch his videos and tell him that it got them through a rough patch. All of these traumas and secrets he has to hold close, because someone trusted him with them.]

... I met a girl at Pride. Her name is Aki and watching me and seeing me made her feel okay being herself. She has a girlfriend named Emiko now. And I think that's worth it.

[he perks up - he might have been trying to think of a segue away from this actually - when Ai mentions she doesn't mind. You didn't hear it from Keiwa, but he had been so relieved when the cake-handshake event was restricted to only Yumemigaoka. Sara had some self-control, but he couldn't imagine how many of those cakes would pop up in their aunt's cafe following an attempt to secure a ticket. When Ai agrees, his face lights up, because it's guaranteed to be something that his sister would like (she said on multiple occasions that she'd like anything he got her but that was not the point-) but he's quickly overwhelmed at the questions]

Ah- no, thank you, it's- Well... I bought one of your Christmas singles for her so just that should be all right. You're probably busy enough as it is with the handshake events on top of everything else, I wouldn't want to trouble you.

[ Brightly; ] It's no trouble! It only takes a minute for me to sign something, so if there's anything else you were thinking of sending to her, I can sign that too. Ah, and maybe I could write out a Christmas postcard as well? This year's photos of the lights were really pretty...

[ s-somehow, this is even worse than her being entirely unenthused?? If she realises she's going to fluster him to death, she just barrels on regardless. ]

Just bring it all down to my office next time you've got a chance and I'll get it all done. You'll want to send it ASAP so it can get to her in time for Christmas, right?

Mm. I'm glad to hear it.

[ But that's how it goes, isn't it? There's always something or somebody that makes it seem 'worth it'. There's always going to be somebody who watched you and felt better about themselves. When you think about it like that, doesn't it make it that much easier to just take it all on your shoulders and never, ever complain? ]

But... are you sure there aren't any other ways for that to happen? Do you really have to go until you're running on fumes just to make everyone else feel better?

[ Yes, she's a hypocrite. But it's only because she's speaking from experience. ]

[th-this is a lot to take in. There are suddenly so many options being thrown at him when Keiwa had been expecting, maybe, one signed CD single MAYBE... Tycoon stutters helplessly before Ai-Doll's enthusiasm, swept along the same as usual. He regains his footing when she - rightfully - points out the time frame his post might need to get back to his sister]

Yes! Thank you very much.

[and he bows to her from the waist. For someone who isn't into idols, this seems like it means a lot to him if that smile is anything to go by]

I'll try to swing by your office today or tomorrow. [a (slightly embarrassed) laugh] You probably hear this a lot too, but Nee-chan's a huge fan so this will definitely make her holidays. Thank you so much.

[ Hibiki's positivity remains just as infectious as ever, giggling cheerfully as Lisa leans back against her. ]

Ehehe...!

[ Hibiki doesn't really mind whatever music they use, but she does think a little about the question on anything she could use help with in terms of Dreamer things... ]

Mnn... I dunno! I'm pretty good at working with others, but I've been doing pretty well as a solo act so far... I guess I mostly wanna see what kind of combination moves we can pull off together!

[Honestly, when he gets that response, he does have to wonder why he expected anything different.]

Y'know, there are worse ways to go...

[He playfully considers it for a moment.]

I have heard my fair share celebrity secrets - witnessed them too. Have I ever told you I used to fly private jets? Just saying. These lips? [He imitates a zipper over his mouth.] Totally sealed.

[He says, like a liar.]

[ Well, it is terribly hard to ignore any word that comes out of Ai's mouth at any given time. It seems to make the young girl pause, at the very least, like she's overthinking both her own thoughts and Ai's advice.

Illya doesn't pull her hands away, but she does look a little more reluctant. She glances around, making sure no one else waiting in line can hear them, and then slowly speaks. ]

I read in a magazine though that it's important.. [ And Illya is definitely at that age where she's easily influenced-- if the way she absorbs everything Ai tells her is anything to go by, honestly. ] .. and that no boy will ever like me otherwise.

How could you worship a god of sleep better than by sleeping?

[Although if that's true, does Dreaming count? Because Zeke spends so much of his 'asleep' time running around the Dream Sphere that if it doesn't, he might be the god of sleep's greatest nemesis.]

[Eh, add another one to the list, along with that Nightmare he couldn't catch before it got away and the Minister of State for Okinawa and Northern Territories Affairs for reasons that aren't really important, are they?]

Otherwise... all that stuff kind of lost meaning for me a while back. Not really the look you want from a Dreamer, but there it is anyway.

[Zeke so rarely gets embarrassed by anything, but he ducks his head slightly now. Losing sight of the magic in things like shrine visits and fortunetelling is pretty shameful, in his estimation.]

Edited 2024-01-03 18:07 (UTC)

You know, if you just went and told me about it now, I don't think your lips are that sealed.

[ She says it with a grin, though. And it's Misfire — someone from the DU — so she can probably afford to play, even if it's just a bit. ]

If you reaaally want to know... [ She goes for the whole conspiratorial side to side glance, as if there's any illusion whatsoever that she and Misfire are the only ones here. ] I'll be eating Christmas cookies and watching terrible old holiday movies on TV all night!

★ my genius, flawless idol for life

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continued cw as above

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