yumemigaoka | Theater Kid's March Comes in Like a Lion

[ Illya actually expected to find Junna at the Dream Union. But when she stopped by the medical area, she got to hear that Junna was already not there anymore - which made the girl quickly run out of options to find the other. Maybe Junna is at home? It would make sense if she's resting after all that..

So it's only by total coincidence that Illya does manage to spot the other girl when she happens to walk through the part. Her eyes go wide with surprise, since she definitely didn't expect to see her here. And yet it's-- ]

Junna-san..!

[ Illya didn't manage to get far enough to find Junna in the Disturbance, making this the first time she's even seeing the other since that whole thing happened the other day. She's running over to the bench the other is sitting on, but it seems like Illya can't even find words for a moment. She just stares at Junna, looking so worried, her mouth opening and closing without saying anything.

What can she say, after all? It's not like she can ask Junna if she's alright. There's no way she's alright after that.

So after thinking for a moment, Illya settles on another honest truth to say instead. ]

I-- I'm so happy to see you..!

[Junna looks up with surprise when Illya calls out to her. Her eyes widen a little bit. It's nice to see a friendly face, even if there's also that feeling of shame after knowing she must have also put Illya through her own fears and anxieties made manifest. That's a guilty feeling she can't quite shake.

She hesitates for a second as Illya gets closer, staring back at her -- like her brain doesn't quite catch up to the situation. But, she smiles after a moment, even if it's a little small still. She looks tired after everything.

She lifts a hand, in a wave.] Hi, Illya-chan. I... ah...

[She hesitates for a moment.] Thank you. I'm-- [She does a short bow.] I'm sorry, for everything you had to deal with because of me.

[She keeps being told to not apologize. And the apologies keep coming out, anyways.]

[ She shakes her head.

At least she's not telling Junna that she doesn't have to be sorry, but-- you know, with the way Illya shakes her head so quickly and seemingly instinctively, it's like that is exactly what she is saying here. That Junna shouldn't have to feel bad, shouldn't have to be guilty. ]

If anyone should apologize, it's me..! I mean, I didn't even get far enough to help you.. [ Unlike some people. But it's a good thing they made it. Illya can't even imagine how terrible she would have felt if Junna would have been stuck in that Disturbance forever.. ] You must have endured a lot.

[Junna hesitates just a second at the shake of Illya's head. Then, she looks down; she gets the message. To not apologize. Which... she supposes, she shouldn't. But when Illya says that she's the one who owes an apology, that gives Junna a start. Her eyes widen.

Then it's her turn to shake her head.] N-No, that's... that's not something you have to apologize for. You came to help me. That's what matters. I...

[She hesitates a second.] ...It was a lot. A whole lot. I... really let things build up too much.

Why..

[ Illya starts on the question almost instinctively.

And she immediately stops talking for a moment when she realizes what she was about to ask. It feels.. cruel, almost, to ask Junna that. But at the same time-- She's so curious. She's so worried. Will she be able to put this situation to rest until she knows?

... ]

Junna-san, why.. Why didn't you talk to anyone..? [ The girl looks guilty as she's asking it. But she has to know. ]

I...

[The billion yen question. Junna hesitates, looking downward, and she feels her face getting hot. She thought she was all cried out, but it's a lot. She manages to keep her composure for the moment, though.]

...I knew I should. But I--I kept thinking... thinking I'd burden people with it. That I needed to handle it myself. And then I... I wouldn't speak up until it was too late. Or I'd downplay it, and I...

Look where that got me.

[ Maybe if the young girl though about this for a few moments, she would recognize just how relatable the thing the other is saying right now is. Illya very much has the same habits.

But considering she's doing it for different reasons - or so she thinks - she isn't really realizing that. Not right now. Her mind is way too focused on Junna and Junna's well being to really think about herself right now. ]

Why would you be a burden? I mean-- Don't so many people care about you? Everyone seemed really worried about you back there, and-- um, I'm pretty sure you have a lot of friends..

[ Doesn't Junna even have a girlfriend? ]

Because... because all of those people care about me. And I care about them. Like I would--would be worrying them, upsetting them, and it's...

[She looks down again. She doesn't quite catch the way Illya struggles with similar thoughts, in the moment. She's trying to put it into words -- and not fall into the same mental trap she had, once before.]

...I know that's not how it work, Illya-chan. They care about me. They'd do anything for me. I-- [She isn't so sure she didn't drive them away, though. So Junna closes her mouth, looking down.]

I know it, but when things got bad, it was hard to remember it.

[ There's a tiny, tiny part of Illya that almost feels hurt at Junna's words. She has heard others worry so much about Junna, she has heard people speak so fondly of her. Everyone was so personally invested in saving her, and she just.. didn't know. There's a little bit of envy in there - after all, would anyone really be that personally invested if it had been Illya? Probably not - and she knows it.

But she also knows it's a bad feeling. It's not a kind one. So she stomps it down as well as she can, hoping that'll get rid of it. She shouldn't be thinking about that. It's mean. Right now she just has to do her best to support Junna. It's the proper thing to do. ]

Well.. I hope you know now that everyone cares about you. I don't think any of this happening changed anything about that, you know. Everyone probably really wants to see you.

I... I do. I hope it didn't, and--and I want to see people too. And talk to them, and thank them, and--and just see them again. [She looks down again for a second, before she shakes her head. That guilty feeling isn't so easily shaken off, though.]

I didn't think people didn't care about me. I just... wanted them to think I could handle it. It wasn't--I mean. I was wrong, in trying to keep it to myself. And not ask for help.

...

[ The young girl silently stares at her for a moment, and then slowly says: ]

You don't have to tell me you were wrong, you know. [ Not that she thinks Junna is saying it for that reason. It's more likely she's just feeling so bad about it that she can't help but repeat that she was wrong to pretty much everyone.. ] Or to anyone else. I think, rather than hearing that.. everyone just hopes you can feel better again soon.

Ah...

[Junna blinks at that. She doesn't have to say that she was wrong? She hesitates for a second, not quite sure what to think. Illya called it, though; she's been apologizing to practically everyone she talked with.]

...I'm sorry. [She pauses.] I-I mean... I... I appreciate, um. Thank you for caring about me.

[ She nods. ]

That's better. Um.. saying "thanks" instead, I mean. Especially when you don't have something to apologize, you know..? [ Not that Illya means Junna should tell her thanks. She certainly doesn't think she has earned it as much as other people who have helped Junna!

But she does think other people would like to hear it from Junna more than her apologizing - that might only hurt them more. ]

Just say thank you and.. um, spend time with people. It's better than being out here all by yourself, you know..? Then you get all caught up in your own thoughts when there's no one else to be louder than them.

Y-Yeah... [Junna looks down for a second. It's going to be hard to not apologize. She still thinks she did something wrong. But... Illya has a point: it's probably not what people want to hear.

There's a moment's hesitation, then she smiles. Just a little bit.]

...Guilty as charged. I wanted to get out, but... I've been doing that. I--ah-- [She hesitates.] I was trying to work up the nerve to go see people. I'm still... it's hard to not worry about it. I know that's... not really logical.

Well..

[ .. her voice trails off, the girl looking like she's thinking about the other's words. ]

Who do you think you want to see first, more than anyone else..?

Well... my girlfriend is the one I want to see most. [She smiles just a little awkwardly.] That's a bit obvious though.

My friends. The people who came for me. You, Illya-chan! I...

Just want to see them. Talk to them. Have things feel normal again.

[ .. w-wait, she's included there too?

That thought is a little too overwhelming for Illya right now. Especially while she's so busy trying to help Junna! There's no time to freak out about being included! Q-Quick, Illya-- ]

You should go see her then! Go see your girlfriend right now! [ She does sound a little more panicked than a moment ago-- She's just flustered, okay. Flustered, and yet still trying to be encouraging. ] There's nothing stopping you..!

[Junna blinks. Maybe she said the wrong thing or--

Then she flusters, hands lifted, and she shakes her head quickly.] A-ah, I still need like... another three or four walks around the lake before I'm that brave, though! R-Really!

You're already brave!

[ Sorry, Junna. Apparently Illya is not letting it slide so easily this time.. Letting things slide is what seems to get people bummed out enough that they end up in the middle of Disturbances, after all! And while she doubts two would happen to Junna in a row like this, she's not going to risk it. ]

And I know she would totally want to see you too right now! I'm sure of it! Can you really make her wait like that?

B-But...

[It's being asked if she can make Lisa wait like that... well, that pushes Junna over the edge. She doesn't think it'll go well -- she's terrified of what Lisa might say -- but the idea she might hurt Lisa more gets her attention. Junna's eyes widen and then, slowly, she nods.]

...y-you're right. I... I should go see her.

[ Illya nods so strongly. Like Junna thought up this idea all by herself, and wasn't just peer pressured into it by Illya by complete accident.. ]

Right, right! So that means you're going today, right? As soon as you're done walking, right?

R-Right! Yes. Soon as I'm done walking.

[Which... should be soon. Her legs are starting to burn a little from all of the walking.] ...Th-thanks for the push.

[ She blinks for a moment. Something about Illya seems momentarily surprised by the thanks, especially over this, but.. ]

Sorry if I was being a little too harsh about it. [ Look, she has to say that, even in the face of the thanks! Illya isn't fully used to being this bold, it usually only happens when she gets so into things that she lets herself go..

Maybe it was just because she was that worried about Junna. ]

It's just.. I really don't like seeing you this way, you know? No one should have to feel bummed out about this stuff when none of us can help it!

It's... it's okay. I...

[She blinks with surprise at the apology. It takes her brain a second to catch up. She still feels like she's thinking though molasses sometimes.

There's a small smile, though.] Y...yeah. I'm--I'm trying to get better. It's... all still catching up with me, I guess.

Theater Kid's March Comes in Like a Lion

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