Hanako ❁ ƎN∀W∀ Iפ∩⅄ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hanamane) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
yumemigaoka2023-06-05 10:14 pm
hanamane) wrote in yumemigaoka2023-06-05 10:14 pm
Entry tags:
OPEN ✿ June Catch-All
⭐ Who: Amane and YOU
⭐ When: Throughout June
⭐ Where: Moon Bunny Market (namely @ Camellia), Riverwalk Theater, Dream Sphere (Slumbering City and N E W L O C A T I O N)
⭐ What: PLANT GAYS, Kaiju movies, Hanako being sulky about missing Dreamer-versary things and a Completely Normal Dreamer bonding trip gone horribly, terribly wrong
⭐ Warnings: Possible mentions of chronic illness in meta text, spiders, Dream Sphere death by miasma poisoning; will update with top-levels and further warnings if need be!
⭐ When: Throughout June
⭐ Where: Moon Bunny Market (namely @ Camellia), Riverwalk Theater, Dream Sphere (Slumbering City and N E W L O C A T I O N)
⭐ What: PLANT GAYS, Kaiju movies, Hanako being sulky about missing Dreamer-versary things and a Completely Normal Dreamer bonding trip gone horribly, terribly wrong
⭐ Warnings: Possible mentions of chronic illness in meta text, spiders, Dream Sphere death by miasma poisoning; will update with top-levels and further warnings if need be!
no subject
Is this what friends do???]Haha... my dad did that too! We had a lot of boxes around thanks to the shop, and it was kinda tough for my folks to keeping buying two of the same toy all the time, so they thought it was a good way to keep us occupied. But then Tsukasa kept wanting to climb the buildings and it... sorta got out of hand...
[Not to mention his brother just opted to charge right through the set-up instead of finding fun ways to knock them down, which was totally not the point of the game!!! Even so, it was one of those rare few things Amane could play inside with his brother that didn't require a lot of extra energy (that weren't video games, at least), and just talking about it left him feeling a bit nostalgic. He was a little too old for that stuff now, but there was a freedom that came with it that he could really only get from the Dream Sphere these days.
At Shinsha's musings, however, Amane grows silent, popping a few bits of popcorn in his mouth as he thinks. Their take on it wasn't wrong, per say, but...]
... mm. But he did eventually find someone who cared about him, despite it all. They might not have been one of his kind, but... I guess just having them around made him happy enough to give up everything to protect them in the end. [He laughs a little, before adding:] So it's kinda nice to know that even if you're some angry, lonely monster, there's at least one person out there who'll stay by your side!
no subject
[Shinsha sinks deeper into their seat. The Teki-Terra films had resonated with them even when they were just a child abandoned by their living relatives for the shame of being different, but after they'd awakened as a Dreamer, the story had taken on a new, even more bitter relevance. One sweep of Teki-Terra's tail could level a house, and one lapse in Cinnabar's control over their powers could seriously hurt a fellow Dreamer. Of course, people didn't die when they were poisoned in the Dream Sphere, they just woke up in their beds with a lingering sense of malaise... but Cinnabar didn't know that the first time they killed someone. They hid away at home for weeks after that, afraid to dream, afraid to even sleep until Sensei contacted the Dreamer Union on their behalf.
Cinnabar trained for years after that, until they thought they had mastered their powers... they even agreed to mentor a novice. Everything had gone well at first. Hanako had a natural talent for floating that only needed a little encouragement (in the form of a large puddle of highly toxic mercury) until it was almost an unconscious skill. But then on their first Exploration together, everything had gone wrong... and their second try was somehow even worse. Shinsha doesn't know much about Amane's life in the real world, but they've noticed that the effects of being expelled from the Dream Sphere seem to hit him harder than most Dreamers.
So Shinsha has managed to hurt Amane in two worlds... twice. They have no right to be talking about movies and happy memories with him as if... as if they're friends.]
no subject
I mean... probably not. [He's gotta admit the truth, even if it's blunt.] Though I guess the same could be said about the monster, too. When you think about it that way, why would something like that want to get so attached to a fragile human being? Just 'cause they're lonely? For all they know, their friend could disappear someday because they got hurt from something else instead.
[He averts his eyes away from Shinsha, staring instead at the quickly bustling theater as he idly picks through his popcorn. Amane didn't intend for this to get so dark, so fast, but--]
Humans aren't that strong, y'know? At least not compared to kaiju. They could get injured, or sick, or even die because their bodies don't agree with them. When you look at it like that, trying not to accidentally hurt them is the easy part.
[Well, whoops, look who's also accidentally projecting onto this conversation right now--]
no subject
[Shinsha answers quickly. Too quickly. Even though Amane doesn't know their real identity, it's easy enough to guess that they're a Dreamer - or at least a former Dreamer - based on their Promised Morning school uniform. Of course, there are plenty of Dreamers who never leave the Slumbering City, who only use their powers to explore safe areas or to heal others who are returning from battle... so Amane probably wouldn't assume that someone as quiet and frail-looking as Shinsha was a fighter. Still, it's best to be careful.]
I mean, that's what separates Teki-Terra from the invading alien kaijuu at the beginning of the second movie, right? He protects the islanders, even the ones who fear and hate him, because the only thing worse than hurting them by accident would be doing nothing and allowing them to be hurt...
[But despite his best intentions, Teki-Terra was still a monster: awkward, lumbering, unable to communicate clearly. Without the few humans who believed in him, he would have stayed a monster.]
...I think humans are strong.
[Unable to meet Amane's eyes, they stare at the floor instead.]
Maybe it's because they're weak. They have to become fearless... it's easier to be a monster.
no subject
... well. It's not like he could avoid taking these things or put them off until later, and the theater was already getting too crowded to squeeze his way out and swig them down in a more private spot, so...
Amane grumbles a little under his breath, before setting his popcorn on their shared arm rest and ducking down to unzip his bag beneath his feet.]
'scuse me for a sec.
[Locating his phone, he turns off the alarm, before fishing out his bottle of water and a small, moon-shaped box from within. Popping it open with his thumb, he discreetly dumps the contents of it onto his palm and pops it into his mouth, before chasing it down with a gulp of water. Hopefully Shinsha still wasn't looking at him, because he really didn't want to explain what this was for-- but medicine was medicine, and even a limited edition screening of his favorite movie wasn't an excuse to skip it for the night.]
What were you saying about the humans again?
no subject
[Shinsha's gaze momentarily focuses on pill case, then quickly flicks away. They've spent enough time in hospitals and endocrinology clinics to know that any condition that requires a fistful of pills to be taken at a specific time of day is rarely anything good... if not for the late movie showing, it would probably be time for bedtime meds. But from Amane's furtive behavior, it seems that he'd rather not talk about it.]
Allergy medications? I heard that the pollen was especially bad this year.
[That should give Amane some plausible deniability, if he prefers. With all the recent rain, the pollen levels really aren't that high, but Shinsha is willing to play along. For over a year, Sensei pretended not to notice that they were dumping their own medications in the creek near the orphanage... so if Amane wants privacy, they'll give it to him.]
no subject
(Which was stupid, really-- he's healthier than he had been in ages, and aside from his appointments and occasional cold
and Dreamer-related afflictions, he really hadn't missed THAT much school, but he didn't have the energy to correct them all at this point)But then Shinsha throws him that lifeline, and whether it was a tactful diversion or an honest question on their part, he didn't care-- as long as he didn't need to talk about that gnarled knot that was his health history, he'd take it.]
... yeah. [And he grins a little sheepishly, as if admitting to something embarrassing as opposed to leaning straight into the lie.] Kind of funny, right? Especially considering I work at a flower shop, too. But it makes things more manageable, so...
[In reality, he probably wouldn't be able to function at all if it weren't for these medications, so that last part wasn't exactly untrue!! He leans over to deposit the little box back into his bag, but not before hesitating for a moment and nudging the container of popcorn on the armrest more in Shinsha's direction.]
You want some? I got a little too much, so I don't think I'll be able to finish it on my own.
[MORE LIES, Amane's got the black hole stomach of a boy his age, but this was his indirect way of thanking Shinsha for giving him an out, intentional or not.]
no subject
[Shinsha tries a few bites of churro-flavored popcorn, which is surpisingly tasty even though they don't usually have much of a sweet tooth. The slight spice of cinnamon helps keep the sweetness from becoming too overpowering.]
I have, um, allergies myself, so I don't think it's that weird.
["Allergies" being code for "chronic health issues," of course - as usual, Shinsha talks around what they actually mean. The difference is that apart from some relatively mild side effects of their condition, Shinsha isn't actively sick... but for their grandparents and doctors, it would be easier if they were. Then there would be a medicine to make them normal again. Or at least they would look normal, which seems to be all anyone actually cares about. If they were normal, they could have grown up with their grandparents and cousins instead of in a foster care facility in a rural town, and they never would have been cursed to awaken as a Dreamer....]
no subject
He can't help but glance over when Shinsha makes that admission, however, and he silently sizes them up for a good moment or two. Amane's been in the children's ward enough times in his life to recognize another sick kid when he sees one, and he couldn't deny that he had his suspicions about his fellow Dreamer's health for a while now. Of course, he never pried about it-- he'd be a damn hypocrite if he starting poking his nose into other people's medical issues-- and he wasn't so sure if he should start doing so now of all times.
... of course, allergies could also just be allergies and he might be reading too much into things too, but! If their previous conversation was any indication, you couldn't just call a spade a spade with these two.
He finally hums a little noise of acknowledgement as his fingers worry the edge of his hoodie sleeve absent-mindedly, trying to choose his words carefully.]
Mm, well... when you're the only one sneezing all the time in class, you can't help but get a little insecure about it.
[Maybe not the neatest of metaphors there, but okay--]
Um... what-- what sort of things are you allergic to, though?
no subject
[They mumble a respone, half-hoping that Amane won't hear. It's not exactly accurate to call their condition an allergy, but it's certainly irritating, so... close enough. Shinsha had been born with an extra chromosome that was to blame for their girlish face, gangly limbs, weak bones and chronic fatigue. After their mother died, they'd been abandoned by their family because of it. But then, years later, their grandparents discovered that the condition was treatable - all Shinsha had to do was wear an almost unnoticeable testosterone patch, and they'd be normal. They could become the boy they were supposed to be, and they could go home to their family... but by that time, the orphanage was the only home they knew.]
It's fine. I'm not sick or anything, not really. But... my family thinks I am.
[They shrug, sinking deeper in their chair, but they're too tall and awkward to disappear into the cushions no matter how hard they try. They've never told anyone at school about this... but people notice, and people talk.]
You're right, though. When you're the only one sneezing in class, people stare, and no one wants to sit near you...
no subject
... you're allergic to jocks?
[Was this... was this a joke on Shinsha's end?? Did they even MAKE jokes?? Or was that answer actually in earnest? The only context Amane really knew about testosterone was macho manly guys and body builders
because Japanese health education is awful, so his mind didn't quite make the connection to it being an endocrine issue instead. Of course, with Shinsha's feminine school uniform and masculine way of talking, Amane was already... sort of aware of something going on with them, but he figured it was just a gender expression thing. After all, Yumemigaoka was a pretty progressive place, and while he wasn't all that familiar with all the types of flags and identities out there, he was at least sort of semi conscious that the binary wasn't quite a binary for some folks.... well, he'll figure out what they meant by that later. Amane grabs another handful of popcorn and unwittingly mirrors Shinsha's slump into their seat, pulling up the hood of his Teki Terra hoodie so he looks like a small, squishier version of the famous kaiju. Of all the things he thought he'd be doing at this screening today, he didn't think "bonding and talking around his chronic health issues with Cinnabun" was going to be one of them.]
Yeah... or they feel bad that you're sneezing all the time and call you "that poor allergy guy", but it's not like your whole life revolves around how much pollen hates you. It's just... something you gotta live with, that others don't.
[There's something about the whole thing that's bugging him though, and he chews at it in his head (along with his popcorn) until, finally:]
Why would your family keep insisting you're sick, though? The, uh-- the allergy medication gets expensive after a while, doesn't it? Wouldn't they be happy to not have to pay for it?
no subject
[They sense that Amane understands, though, at least on some level. Shinsha doesn't want to be "that poor allergy guy" or "that poor guy who looks like a girl." They don't want have to think about their gender at all most of the time. Amane probably doesn't want to think about his handful of pills, either.]
Um... it's like...
[They struggle for a metaphor, since speaking directly is obviously out of the question.]
...My allergies aren't really that bad at all, but they're so embarrassed to have a grandchild who sneezes sometimes that they won't even allow me to live with them. They want me to take the kind of allergy medicine that would make me sleepy all the time, even though I hate it.
[Shinsha looks away and fusses anxiously with their Teki-Terra plushes. What Amane he has the sort of condition that can't be easily fixed with medication? What if his parents struggle to afford all of his pills? He must think they're a spoiled, stubborn brat who's complaining about not being sick while shunning a family who only wants the best for them...]
no subject
And while it's true that Amane's condition couldn't be easily fixed with just medication alone, and part of his Dreamer pay has been going to helping foot those bills... that's not what rubs him the wrong way about what Shinsha had said. Granted, it was hard to tell what exactly was going on, what with these two refusing to be straight forward about sensitive subjects, but if he was understanding things right...]
So they kicked you out because you don't want to take a medication you don't even need? [Yeah, he's... actually a little quietly upset on your behalf right now, Shinsha, because what the fuck.] They should be grateful that you're just sneezing and not-- I dunno, having an asthma attack every time the season changes or something.
[It's no wonder Cinnabar was so grouchy in the Dream Sphere-- if Amane had to deal with something like that growing up, he wouldn't want to deal with others either. He picks through his popcorn idly, his free arm hugging his own Teki-Terra plushies closer to his stomach as he adds, in a mumble:]
I mean... I know my family would, at least.
no subject
I'm sure they think they're doing what's right for me.
[They shrug. Any resentment they once held towards their family is long gone, replaced by resigned acceptance. Their grandparents give them enough of an allowance to pay for basic living expenses, and for that (if nothing else), Shinsha is grateful.
They reach for a handful of popcorn, not because they particularly enjoy the taste (it's far too sweet) but because it will hide their awkward fidgeting.]
They're just... wrong about a lot of things.
no subject
But there was nothing he could about it himself, aside from following along with the doctor's orders and doing whatever they told him to, results be damned. So, in a way, he sort of gets Shinsha's resigned attitude towards all of this, despite his own indignation over what they've done. At some point, the hate and distaste one has for these things, be it terrible families or constant treatments, become too exhausting to bear, so one just... begrudgingly accepts it and moves on. What else could they do?
Amane automatically angles the popcorn towards Shinsha as they reach for more, waiting until they got their fill before going back for a little more himself. There's no real point insisting on how awful Shinsha's family is when they already seemed to learn to live with it, so... maybe it was best to pivot the topic a little. It had shed a bit of a new light on something he had been curious about earlier...]
So... that Sensei you talked about before, the one who painted all those buildings for you... I guess they were they okay with your allergies? They must've been a pretty cool person if they went out of their way to do that for a sneezy kid.
[Not that he was sure this Sensei of theirs was an actual teacher or someone who had just looked out for them, but clearly they seemed to have stepped in a little where Shinsha's family didn't.]
no subject
Kongou-sensei is the head monk at the temple that sponsors the group home I grew up in. He doesn't mind my... allergies. But he's responsible for so many other kids who need him more than I do...
[As kind as Sensei is, there's only one of him... and he's a monk, so when faced with difficult situations, it's in his nature to be serene, accepting and detached. Shinsha has never seen him upset, and whenever there's a faint look of sadness in his eyes, he meditates until it's gone. He's fond of saying that while people may not be able to easily change their situations, they can always change their perceptions.]
...And there are things he just doesn't understand.
no subject
Though that explanation of theirs... it brought up a whole slew of other questions in his mind, questions that he wasn't even sure he should bring up if he wanted to respect Shinsha's privacy and not tread on ground that he shouldn't. But there is one part that stands out the most to him, and it comes out before he can stop himself from saying it.]
... like how to actually live with these allergies, you mean? It's one thing to be sympathetic and considerate about it, but... no one really knows how hard it is to deal with these things day to day unless they've been through it themselves.
[... wait, crap. Was he projecting again? Shinsha even said that Kongou was fine with their illness, but years of people giving Amane well-meaning but naive advice on how to deal with his own health issues made his mind immediately jump to that conclusion. Maybe he should backtrack, for both of their sakes--]
Or... a-at least, I think so, anyway. Maybe it was different with your Sensei, instead?