yumemigaoka | April catch-all ♫

[Her nerves are getting the better of her; she's got to figure out what's going on. Calm down and understand the situation. Everything's okay to be okay-

There's a sharp sound; her vision sharpens and she finally locates Junna through her panic, but only after what looks like a painful collision with the wall that makes Lisa wince, and language she's not used to hearing from Junna. That, more than anything, helps her pull herself out of the brain fog, and her eyes clear, as Junna's words register. Doorframe-]

Got it! Entrance door, it'll be stable! [She throws open the front door, lurches toward it unsteadily, bangs a knee into it which helps push it the rest of the way open along with keeping the haze out of her mind, and once she gets one arm around the frame, she reaches backward, other hand open and extended.] Gimme your hand!

[She doesn't know about Junna, but her own ankles are protesting pretty heavily, and her balance is shot. It can't be too much better over there.]

[Junna isn't steady on her feet as she makes her way across the ever-shifting floor. All the dancer's grace in the world doesn't help though to make this effortless. And her shoulder hurts -- she's pretty sure there'll be a gnarly bruise there come morning -- which makes her take it a little slower. But she does get across.

And grips Lisa's outstretched hand. Then, she gets into the doorframe and presses her back against it, steadying herself. She isn't letting go of that hand though.

A nervous laugh bubbles up.] R-Rude start to the morning. Are you okay?

[She's nervous the whole time Junna is trying to cross the floor; every step makes Lisa wish she could help her over or. Something. So instead she vibrates where she's gripping the frame, swaying dangerously, trying to keep herself from going too crazy-

but Junna makes it over, and while she's not the strongest girl she knows, it's more than enough to haul Junna (carefully!) the rest of the way to the door, where they stand across from each other. She. She can deal with the shaking, as long as they're together and... relatively safe? So she starts to relax, although something's still... nagging at her, about all this, and her nerves don't entirely dissipate. She'll come back to it in a second.]

I'm... physically okay, aside from banging my knee a second ago. What about you? That- that looked pretty rough on your shoulder a second ago.

[Lisa looks... distracted. Something's...]

Nothing's broken. I think I need an ibuprofen when this stops. [Junna would rub at her shoulder, but she's gripping the doorframe with her free hand -- and hodling Lisa's too. She exhales, as she takes a look around, and then looks over Lisa. She looks fine. And--she looks into the living room, and while things have fallen off the shelves, it looks like the building isn't falling apart. She frowns for a moment, before she looks back at Lisa.

There's a pause. She spots that... distracted looking.]

...Is everything okay? [A beat.] I-I mean... besides the obvious. [She means the earthquake. Though the shaking slows -- and finally subsides. Junna sighs with relief.]

I'll... find... [She trails off. What is this? Something's... it's on the tip of her tongue...]

...six weeks ago, when you disappeared... [Her words are slow, almost trance-like, as she works through the logic before it slips through her fingers.] I'd freaked out and run to your dorm. Then I turned around to go to the DU, and it was suddenly really, really hot. Like, sweating through my scarf hot. That was when I called Amane-kun and I realized you were gone. Hibiki... when she disappeared, Matsuba froze over in September.

[Her eyes widen, expression yielding to a horrified grimace. It. It can't be. That feeling of ice in her veins returns. The grimace yields to something between fear and anger. Her knuckles on the door frame - and gripping Junna's hand, which may be getting a little too tight - are white. Her words are fast now, spit out almost before she's finished forming them in her mind.]

No. Not again... not again-! I'll get you that ibuprofen, but dammit, after that we have to-! [She doesn't finish, but this time it's as thoughts race through her mind and she loses focus.]

[Junna's eyes widen, slowly.

She didn't piece it together. She didn't see the unseasonable warmth of her Disturbance. But she remembers the others; the way that it got freezing cold in September. Her fingers tighten, squeezing Lisa's hands back. She hesitates to say it out loud, as if she could somehow bring it into existence by doing so. But on the other hand, what can they do? Just ignore the truth.

She quickly nods, and then she steps away -- the shaking's done, she can stand just fine! -- and pulls Lisa into a hug. It's a brief one.] ...You're right. It--it could be that. We need to--

[She needs to focus. Before Lisa spirals.] We need to figure out who it is, and get to the DU. I'll-- [She reaches to her jeans pocket, for her phone, then hisses.] Ow--ow.

[She barely notices Junna's hand tightening on hers. The hug gets through her swirling emotions, and she wraps her arms around her, quickly but meaningfully. She needs the reassurance right now.]

We don't know. But I- I have to assume the worst until we prove otherwise, right? [A breath.] Senpai. She might go to the job fair, since a bunch of Dreamers would be there anyway. Good place to start a headcou- oh. Meds first, or maybe I have a patch. We'll take it easy until you feel up to it, okay?

[The apartment hasn't exactly gotten bigger since last month, so she starts toward the bathroom; she's limping a little, but she can manage well enough for now. It's only a moment's rummage to find both ibuprofen and a pain patch, and a moment more to redirect to the fridge for a bottle of water.]

Need me to help you over to a chair for a second?

Ai-senpai, she-- [Junna wants to say she couldn't. But should she, of all people, know how it doesn't work that way? She looks down, and then she nods her head.] ...Right. We can go there. Get a headcount. And--and see if the DU knows anything yet.

[She takes the pain patch -- and shakes her head. Then she starts to apply it, over her shoulder.]

I'm okay. I promise. This'll kick in-- [She's taking a couple ibuprofen. Maximum dose, for good measure. And the bottled water, too. She swallows them, with a quick chug.] --and I'll be fine.

How's your leg? Do you need a second? Do you need ibuprofen too?

It's... not super likely. But I don't want to wade through the media circus at the Dreamer Union, in case one of them came to the same conclusion I did. And if I'm wrong, we don't lose much, and she's in command anyway, until Director Yoshino can take over.

[All this said while she, largely on autopilot, accepts the bottle back, shakes out a couple pills for herself, snaps it shut, also accepts the trash from the patch, drops the trash in the kitchen can, chucks the bottle of ibuprofen across the room toward the basket she'd taken it from and spins as it leaves her hand, returns to Junna, gently tugs the bottle of water from her hands, and as she finishes talking, slams the pills and washes them down with brutal efficiency. Then she gently holds the bottle back out for Junna to retake.]

I'd like even more if I were wrong entirely, and it's a false alarm, but... it doesn't feel right.

One of them probably did. If we need to go there, Keiwa-san and I used the parking lot entrance. Library first, though.

[There's a worried look at how Lisa does everything with that brutal efficiency. It's a good clue as to the state she's in. Junna takes the bottled water and has another sip of it. She hesitates for a moment. Then, she nods. Nothing to do but see how bad it is.]

Should we get moving?

You'll have to show me where that entrance is when we get there. I went through the front door the other day... had to fight through the vultures to get there. [She scowls briefly at the memory before shaking her head; it passes quickly enough. Lisa catches that worried expression, though, and she smiles at Junna. She's okay, at least for now.]

Anyway. We should go, yeah. Think the buses are still running normally? I don't really wanna walk... but needs must, I guess.

I'll show you. Hopefully they haven't found it. Or there's security there if not. [She doesn't like the idea of going through the reporters either. It reminds her of dealing with reporters after her own Disturbance. Thinking of them being here for Ai, again, makes her frustrated.

She looks at Lisa. Then she looks down at her ankle, before she looks back up at her. If she's sure of herself, then that's enough for Junna.]

I think so. We can get a cab if not. Just tell me if you need to sit down, okay?

Probably security, at this point. But if we get lucky, I'll be happy.

[She tests her weight again, shifting her weight; it's a little uncomfortable, but she'll be able to move. She looks at Junna and nods sharply.]

As long as I can move, I'm going. But... let's try for a bus first? I could hike, but I won't enjoy it.

Yeah. We'll find out.

[There's a careful look as Lisa shifts her weight -- Junna makes a note to keep near her, just in case. Then, she nods, and she starts for the door. She's got her game face on, now: focus on the job, and compartmentalize worrying for later. The job is get to the library and try to find Ai.]

Sounds good. Let's catch a bus.

[Lisa, as always, counts on her luck being atrocious so she's pleasantly surprised if things go okay after all. So with purpose, she opens the door-

-and wobbles again as the hallway shakes slightly under her when she steps out, before grimacing, shaking her head, and continuing to walk.] Aftershocks... my favorite. Well, we'll just have to be careful. Stick close, okay?

[But once she's locked up behind them, both girls looking a little worse for wear already, she starts toward the elevator with purpose. No stairs for her when she's already worried about her stability like this. Should've packed flats... oh well, nothing for it now. It's a short trip down, and another short walk to the bus stop at the end of the street, followed by a short wait. Which... turns into a slightly longer wait...]

Um. Maybe I should have looked up if there were an emergency announcement about public transit before I planned this on a whim.

Gyah-- [Junna grabs the wall to steady herself, then sighs. Aftershocks always get her by surprise, even after years of living with earthquakes. She looks at Lisa, then there's a small smile. That's putting on smiling face to try to support Lisa as best she can. She can tell she's worried.

So is Junna. But it's easier to externalize that.] I will. I'm ot going anywhere.

[She keeps following -- down the elevator, then the street. She waits at the bus stop with Lisa -- but at the remark, there's a frown. Her eyes widen a little.]

Want me to check?

Um, yes, please.

[Lisa continues to scan the street for a bus as she utters that... but she also strains her ears to try and pick anything up amongst the city noise. The murmur of people going about their day seems... a little agitated at the moment, perhaps for good reason. She hears cars, though maybe fewer than expected. That could be reduced volume because people are worried about another quake, but just as likely it could be because of road damage or a blocked street... and she hears radios and TVs, all talking about the same things. Ai again. Ai, as always- no. No, she can't make out words, not from here, but the tone seems different. It's not talking heads about what it means for our youth's moral fiber, it's... worry for Ai, between the earthquake reporting? What changed in the last ten minutes?]

I... I have a sudden bad feeling. Maybe let's. Let's start walking while we look. I'll be fine, don't mind me.

All right. Don't... if you need to stop to rest your ankle, let me know?

[Junna gets her phone out while they walk. It's just as Lisa says she has a bad feeling that she sees the nose. There's a sharp inhale, as she sees the news story. A video too -- she's not watching that -- but she can tell what happened. And...

And she has to confirm what Lisa is already afraid of. Her voice is quiet, though still audible.]

It's Ai-senpai. She... I'm sorry, Lisa. There's another Disturbance.

[The uneasy feeling in the air is enough that Lisa doesn't slow down at the encouragement, which she acknowledges only with a murmur. If anything, she picks up the pace a little, feeling the protest from the knot in her knee and the stress on her ankles and grimly shoving it aside. That's not something that'll slow Rhodonite down when the time comes, and Lisa... Lisa would rather be moving. If she's moving, she can feel like she's doing something.

So when the news she'd been half-expecting comes across - when she hears the breath from her partner, even before it - there's no explosion. There's no immediate breakdown. There's only the slightest hesitation in her step as she freezes, before she puts one foot in front of the other and keeps moving. Her hands, though... her hands are visibly shaking.]

Of course there is. Of course she is. Of course everything's gone to hell again. [Her tone is bitter, but not despairing. Not... yet; there's a barely-restrained quaver under the black, simmering anger that's also being kept on a leash.] There won't be anything for us to find at the library, then... but I still want to double check. Make sure none of our friends are there and actively freaking out. Then. Then the Dreamer Union, to see what we can do?

[Get to the station. Keep moving. She can have her breakdown when it isn't slowing them down.]

[When Junna sees the way that Lisa's hands shake, her heart sinks. This is so... unfair. First her own Disturbance. Then everything that happened with Ai. And now Ai is trapped in her own. Can't the universe give her girlfriend a break? Can't it let her be happy without reservations for at least a little while? Junna allows herself the moment of anger at the world.

Then she takes a deep breath and gets herself back into the present. Lisa needs her right now. So she reaches out and takes one of those shaking hands, squeezing.]

The library, then. Then we'll go to headquarters. [She keeps walking, but she has a grip on Lisa's hand. She tries to be reassuring.]

We'll do it together, okay?

[Lisa can't focus on anything else right now. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. If she stops to think, she'll scream. She'll break. She'll cry and she'll rage and she'll collapse and she'll-

Junna's hand is her lifeline, as it's been for months. She squeezes back, hand still shaking, but... it's something to ground her, somehow, despite feeling like her mind's going to stage a protest.]

To-together. Yeah...

[On the upside, her roiling heart and overtaxed mind mean there's nothing left to focus on pain right now! Just. Just keep moving. She has somewhere she has to be and something she has to do... and yet.]

........I don't know if. If I'm ready to do this again.

[Junna looks at Lisa, watching her carefully. It's borderline dangerous -- she isn't watching where she's going, to try to keep a close eye on her girlfriend. Her hand squeezes again as she walks. Her heart is in her throat; her worry for Ai and her worry for Lisa are getting all mixed together. But Lisa's admission gives her pause.

She stops walking.

Then she pulls her into a tight hug. She doesn't have anything she can say to that, immediately. She isn't sure if she is ready. She can't make it so Lisa will be ready; even worse, she can't make it so the guilt of not going in again would go away. She knows it might be much worse to sit this one out.

It's like Junna told Lisa: not knowing can be so, so much worse.

To say nothing of not being there when Ai needs them.

But what she can do is stop for a second, pull Lisa into a tight hug, and make it so they don't have to rush off the cliff when everything is falling apart.]

[Just. Just keep moving. Yeah, she said something that's dangerous, that she probably shouldn't think about, but that's not important now, only to warn Junna what she's in for and explain why she can't stop, gotta-

Junna stops, hand still in hers. Lisa orders her feet to move, heartbeat pulsing in her ears, eyes darting back and forth, looking for the bus she knows isn't coming after the earthquake just minutes ago, plus whatever happened to Ai. She has to keep going. Has to move, or it's- it's-

She should have expected the hug. Should have expected something. She'd asked that they keep each other apprised of their mental states specifically so something like this could be addressed, and yet... it comes out of left field and surprises her, enough that she completely freezes, train of thought ceasing. And when the litany of reminders not to stop, itself stops-

the panic and the fear and the anger set in.]

Yours almost broke me. You're so, so important to me, but... she was my light. She kept me going for so long... [Her voice is hollow, terrified, whisper quiet in the city not quite as full of background noise.] I don't know what to do without her there. I don't know if I can be responsible for going after her. I don't... know if I'm ready to know what's in Senpai's heart.

[Through the litany, the words to keep her from screaming as much as to try and explain to Junna who must be really freaked out right now again, her eyes stare straight into nothing, her arms limp. She's... doing her best to keep from tipping over the edge but it's not going well.]

[Junna wishes she could say she knew it was the right thing to do. She can't. She second guesses herself immediately, wondering if she should have waited until they're somewhere else. But it's too late to think about that now. It's done, and Lisa is on the verge of falling apart in her arms. She keeps those arms around her, looking at Lisa.

Even though she's staring straight ahead at nothing. The pain in her voice and on her face make Junna swallow, nervously.]

Lisa... I'm sorry.

[It's not fair that she has to be threatened with losing Ai. It's not fair that she has to face learning the things that Ai would rather have kept to herself. In the face of that, what can Junna possibly say or do? What can she do for Lisa? She struggles to find the words for a moment. But...

Lisa needs her. She can do this.] It isn't fair. And it isn't right, to have to face it like this. But... senpai will still be your light, whatever you find in there. As terrible as it is now, there's going to be an after. There was for me, right?

[It's not a good place. There is no good place. There's no good time. She knows that, knows better, but sometimes... sometimes Lisa just can't keep the faith any longer. Not for lack of trying. But as her hands slowly ball into still-shaking fists, some life comes back into her tone. Maybe not... the desired kind of life, though.]

It's not fair. None of this is ever fair! Wh-why is this happening!? I- I want to find Crimson and shake answers out of her! I shouldn't have to find out Senpai's secrets like this! I shouldn't have had to find out your secrets like this! We should have gone on more dates and opened up and- and-!

[She sobs, once, choking it back.]

She'll always be my l-light. But I hate this! There sh-shouldn't have to be an after! I- I trust her, but all this just- just gives me doubts! I don't want doubts!

April catch-all ♫

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